It's gonna be ok

It's gonna be ok
It's gonna be ok
It's gonna be ok
It's gonna be ok

Leaving these here as bookmarks

1

2 

3

4

Also, one year ago.  Two things are certain in life, change and death.

Optimistic but sad.

This place has been too heavy lately.

Here. Enjoy.

I'm glad I can watch Breaking Bad again.

This is a great show.  Also, I love my new motorcycle.  Buying it made no sense at all, and all I can think about it riding it.

02/14/1884

                            




                           X

I guess I spoke to soon

Things HAD gotten but, it things aren't always what they appear to be.  This is a rough life.  They say that your trials prepare you for your future greatness, or something like that.  I don't know if that's the case, and I'm there's some people who endured the trials and never reaped a reward, but I sure hope so.

It's getting down to the wire.  10 years will fly by like nothing.  If something great is going to happen, I'd like to humbly ask that we get started.  I think the student is ready.  I want to shine and be shone upon.

Things have gotten better

Amazing what you can get if you ask for it.

Things get easier at some point...

Right?

Right?

Right?

Seriously life, dafuq?  Throw me a bone.

Well, there's always kittens.

It's like this

This

You know those times...

When the wheels come your life completely, and you're rudderless, and you have NO IDEA what you're doing? Yeah, it's like that. Hey universe, I could use a little help. While you're at it, I'd like to be able to hold food down and sleep.

Road trip time

Trying to blow a little smoke out of heart after a spectacularly shitty year. I need some windshield time, and friends. I'll try to remember to blog or FB my progress. I'm hoping that when I come back, I can start 2013 clean.

Anyone read this thing anymore?

I have a lot of interesting shit going on now. I should probably write about it at length. If nothing else, it would make an interesting movie.

Well fuck

These are particularly difficult times. However, shit like this helps me keep perspective.

Note to myself

Dyn dy bragh reesht, nar jarrood.

I wish I had a time machine.

Shit's going down. Again. Go here

QOTD

QOTD: "You should sublet your vagina". -- Shannon

Remember this

God is life.  Everything is alive.

Because I'm tired of this crap on Facebook, I'll put it here...

"This is somebody who was deserving of the justice he received," Obama said in the interview. "But we don't need to spike the football."


The guy messed with the bull, and he got the horns. Story over. Let's not be morbid. Let's move on. Nice to see the U.S. showing a little decorum for once.

Finalizing art for the new ink.

This is the original:

This is take two:

And take three:

Happy Valentines Day

My Friend Jason is super smart

Relativity explained:

"One of the interesting things about relativity is the idea that time and space aren't actually separate things and that gravity is actually the distortion in spacetime caused by mass.

In essence the more mass a particular object has, the slower time seems to progress in the vicinity of that object, for instance if you had two twins, one who lived into space and one who stayed on earth, the twin in space would age faster than the one on earth.

I guess what I'm trying to elucidate is that yo momma so fat, I spent twenty minutes fucking her and missed three birthdays."

Au Contraire!

Who ever wrote this, never saw this.

Good Advice

Note to myself

Interesting thing to think about:

Given the evolutionary nature of all things (religion being an excellent/the best example), what's next for combat?

There has been two epochs of armed struggle in the history of man.  Hand to Hand/Blade to Blade, and archery/artillery.  Basically, close combat and ranged combat.  All human violent conflict, for thousands of years, is one or the other (ot both). What is the next step in violence?  Has violence reached its full potential?

See ya' around...

Tim.  You'll be missed.

WHEN WILL IT END!!!???!!!!

The vicious onslaught continues.  They don't hate our freedoms, THEY HATE OUR FACES!

Also, have a funny picture:

What an age of wonders!

I love the fact that people are spending time, money, and science to do this.

Also, a funny picture

ZOMG!

Seriously

A thought

Sarah Palin is the white Al Sharpton... Discuss amongst yourselves.

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

WHEN WE WILL LEARN??!!

THEY ARE NOT OUR FRIENDS!

Wordless Wednesday

How to fix a printer

today's lesson by an I.T. professional... How to fix a printer.

1) Take everything that can be taken apart without tools apart
2) Put it all back together
3) Power off
4) Power on

Done.

You are now a certified printer technician.  You can become a certified PROFESSIONAL printer technician and illegible for employment by most office equipment companies only if the printer fails to operate after these steps are taken.

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Also, this:

Wordless Wednesday

I defer to Shannon

I will not admit this on facebook

I like this song.

Super cool, super easy

Check this out!

I suck... Or why I haven't posted in a while

As the few of you who occasionally read this might have noticed, I haven't posted in a while.  I kind of feel bad about it, so I thought I might try to explain why.

First, there the fact that my life has changed dramatically since the time when I was writing more.  I've gone from a pretty hopeless place to a pretty hopeful place.  At this point, I'm a little more interested in living my life than writing about it.  I'm focusing on living, after having spent a while existing... or trying to survive.  My opinions on whatever seem so petty as to be hardly worth mentioning.

Next, there is the fact that most of my posts were trivial at best.  There's a better tool for that.  It's called facebook.  I want to write more, but what do I have to say?  I'm working, trying to stay healthy, trying to repay the kindness and patience of my wife, and enjoying the company of some great friends.

Finally, all the adventures I have, I have with Shannon.  She's a much better blogger, photographer, person, etc. than I am, so I leave it up to her.

I'll try to get back on the blogging horse, but I guess I need to find my voice again.  It's coming, I'm sure, but right now I'm just trying to be grateful for having it.

My how time flies

Last year, I was here.

wordless Wednesday

A shout out to the dark side.

I usually don't disagree with Mr. Munroe, but I don't quite agree with this.  I think it was genius.  If you can create a strawman argument and sell it to millions of people, you deserve money and the people that bought it deserve to be seperated from thiers.

How fraking awesome...

is this?! 

Finally

A real American hero.

Oh! Well I guess that makes it OK.

Doucebag.  Nice tie too, asshole.

Biker? Cyclist?

You might find this interesting.

Too soon?

Why didn't he just shoot her between the eyes?  I mean, it's not like he could have missed.

You thought I'd forgotten, didn't you?

Oh no my friends. You cannot turn your back on these bastards for a second!

Mr. Bright Side

Well, I guess things could be worse. This guy was a close friend and room mate of mine in college. My sadness for him is kind of tempered by my absolute hatred of drunk driving.

Anyway, I was feeling a little down because of where my life is at 40. At least I'm not going to prison!

My new motivation

This. I will find and eat this when I get back down to 215.



FUCK YES

You should

try this.

This made me laugh

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

This about sums it up

I hate feeling powerless, but this seems to be my only option.

On turning 40

It appears I have, through no effort of my own, stumbled through yet another milepost. My thirties are now in the rear view mirror.

I've tried to attach some meaning to the event, in hopes of securing its place in my memory, and thus far have failed. The failure is what I find interesting though. Much like my run in with cancer, it simply feels like another thing I've lived through and put behind me. Where's my life changing epiphany? Where is my renewed sense of purpose? Where is my clarified vision of my future? I read countless stories of people in similar positions gaining benefit of one sort or another when encountering these types of challenges... But it doesn't seem to work that way for me.

Maybe it's my tendency to not focus on the future. I guess your life can't change much when you don't spend a lot of time thinking about it. I've had enough gut punches delivered by fate that I tend to look behind for another one, rather than forward to see what's next. I've got to stop that (yeah, right). You go where you're looking.

Maybe there's something better on the way that will make all this seem inconsequential, and I'm subconsciously getting ready for it?

Maybe things that this don't really matter as much as people think they do, and I'm silly for attempting to find meaning?

I don't know. The one thing I do know is that for the first time in my life, I actually feel old. Worn down. Burdened. Tired. Feeble.

I feel like I didn't wind up where I wanted to be, and I don't think there's enough time left to get there... So I have to find a new "there"... But I don't know how.

Anyway, my advice on aging is don't.

Wordless Wednesday

Da Da Da Duh Dummmmm. Seriously, Wyoming is kinda lame, but this little route is worth it. Thanks to the Harley Owners Group and thier yearly ride gide. Also, Big Timber Montana is great.

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Fight the power

If anyone is on Twitter (I HATE it too, but I'm a user), set your location to Tehran and your time zone to GMT +3.30. Security forces are hunting for bloggers using location/timezone searches. The more users at this location, the more of a logjam it creates for forces trying to shut Iranians' access to the internet down. Cut & paste and please pass it on.

Wordless Wednesday... Mostly

How I feel about Twitter

I've given it a try. It's like this.

Twitter is dumb.

Wordless Wednesday

It doesn't count if the words are in the image

What is John doing

1) Looking for work
2) Eating < 2000 calories a day
3) Cycling every chance I get
4) Hitting the gym 5-6 days a week
5) Watching T.V.
6) Trying to stay positive

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

clicky clicky

Stanley Kubrick

As I write this, I'm watching "Eyes Wide Shut". I'm a fan of mister Kubrick's work, especially the first 30 or so minutes of "2001". However after watching this movie and comparing it to his other works, it does appear to me that perhaps the best adjective to describe a lot of the scenes in Kubrick films is "ponderous". Seriously, the man has a gift for turning a 3 minutes scene into 10 minutes.

Also, there are a lot of great boobs in "Eyes Wide Shut". Oh and Tom Cruise has a big nose.

So the season is upon us again...

And I will be out there. I plan to put on several thousand miles this year because I have nothing better to do and I do love it so . Hopefully, there wont be many of these folks. Because it makes me sad when I see these giving the rest of us a bad name.

Wordless Wednesday

Last year around this time

God damn I had fun that day.

Mark my words...

We've seen a bunch of this kind of thing lately. Trust me, there's more coming. It's kinda of the nexus of "Too much pressure" meets "I can't find a way out of this" meets "Well, I've got a gun".

I'm a little enthralled by the prospect. It's interesting to see what happens when you deprive people of their dignity and their ability to make a living, but give them easy access to the tools of violence. Sure, it's insane... But the situation is getting insane for a lot of people and some of them can't see a better escape plan.

I'm kind of excited by the fact that things are melting down to the degree they are, and kind of afraid at the same time.

Huh.

Crap,

That's it. Crap. I've gone through over two years of bad luck now and I'm beginning to think there isn't an end to it. F**k.

Oh, one last thing.

I love Turbonegro to death, punk. Seriously, I have this tattooed on my arm. That being said, Valient Thorr kind of kicked Turbonegro's ass last Sunday.

Just sayin'.

I drank with the Valient Thorr guys, but I didn't get a photo. I do have a photo with Turbonegro's new drummer:



And a drum head autographed by the band.

I will have to say that next time Valient Thorr plays, I am ALL over it.

Wordless Wednesday

TMI or Why I've been absent

This is why. When I get into sticky situations, much like the one I'm in now, things that normally come naturally seem to take a ton of energy. Things like moving, reading, turning on my computer... Basically, everything but sleeping, watching old movies, and working out seems really hard. Welcome to the wonderful world of clinical depression. It's one of those thing I used to complain about other people claiming to have. "Get up off your ass and get to it"! Then, as seems to happen to me more often than not, I was afflicted with the problem I cursed others for having. Needless to say, I'm very empathetic to the problems of others these days. Anyway, in case anyone was wondering why I've been absent, that's it. Little power to do anything and a conscious attempt to stay away from media that's not telling me anything helpful.

So, what have I been up to? We'll, I've found that the more time I spend in the gym, the less I have to think... So I've gained back a lot of the muscle I lost earlier this year and I've become a bit of a cardio fiend. I like it. I feel stronger than I have in years and actually look better than I have in a long while. Yay! Besides that, it's just trying not to be a dick to Shannon and watching old movies... Oh, and playing Company of Heros.

I've also been looking for work, though not very hard. I found one place that seems perfect. I've interviewed with them twice. If for some reason fate decides to smile on me after kicking me in the nuts a few times, I may just wind up working for the type of organization I should have been working for all long, and that I thought I was working for at one point. If not, I'm open to anything and beginning to think that I might be done with Oregon for a while. We'll see.

About the most I've felt comfortable doing web wise is facebook... And I'm spotty at that too. It's just too easy to waste 3/4 of a day there. It has been fun to reconnect with people I thought I'd lost forever though.

Basically, I'm diving into things that make me happy, trying to find the best strategies for fighting depression (a tougher fight than I would have ever though. Makes cancer look like a walk in the park), and trying learn the lesson that life is obviously trying to hit me with. Seriously, you don't run into the things I've run into in the past 6 months or so for no reason... At least I want to to believe you don't. Yeah, sure part of it is "appreciate being alive" but I think there's another, more... important? louder? profound? IDK. There's some message there. I just haven't heard it yet and I'm kind of in a holding pattern until I do. I feel like I'm on the edge of something. It might be wonderful, it might be terrible, but it IS. I just have to find out how to meet it.

Anyway, I had an idea tonight that I thought might be fun. I was thinking about posting a request for people to suggest an activity a week for me to do, either here or on Facebook. You know, some sort of funky, random thing that no one has the time to do but everyone wants to.

I have the time. I have cameras. I have a partner in crime. I have a blog.

It might just be cool.

Thoughts?

LOL

Is Vince gonna gave to slap a ho?

Is it just me....

Or is DNS f**ked tonight? I can't resolve anything but Google.

Oh and Brian, Ashleigh, and Erin are super awesome people do dine with, especially Erin.

Oh and Twin Fin wines are literally un-god-damn-drinkable.

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

So... How far to the bottom

No income household? Check
Life threatening and VERY expensive disease? Check

It's hard to keep a good man down, but I feel like the last couple of years has been nothing but stumbling from one piece of really bad news to the next. Getting myself up and dusting myself off is not as easy as it was the first couple times.

Oh well.

Yeah dude...

This pretty much sums up John and Shannon.

Wordless Wednesday

Operation strong John

Now that operation skinny John has been a success (even if I had some help), it is time for operation strong John. I have employed the services of one Noel Fuller of Foster Fitness to help me out. The goal? Keep it around the same weight I am now (200) but swap a few pounds of fat for a few pounds of muscle.

The tools so far? An hour of cardio a day at least 5 days a week, a punishing weight workout 3-4 days a week, and an ever evolving commitment to eating and drinking well. That last one is gonna be tough.

Cancer update. I go in for a PET scan Friday. I don't know why exactly, but it has something to do with my dosage of Gleevec I think. I don't mind because scans are fun and I've already hit my max out of pocket for the year... Which is good because check this out. Holy shit!

Oh, and this is supposedly how Gleevec works. AH!!!! It's all crystal clear now! No wonder it costs as much as this for a years worth!

Test

another test

Wordless Wednesday

The pandas are coming!

sifl & olly - panda song by deuce loosely

I've had this song in my head all day...

...and I could not be happier

Thank You McMillers!

For this

John is better than chocolate
Do it with John (I like this one)
John for your kids! (LOL)
John. The power on your side.
Think different, think John.

Wordless Wednesday

Dear Rihanna

So, I hear things aren't working out great with you and your boyfriend. It happens.

As an I alternative, my I offer my services as your beau. I'm smarter, bigger, older, and infinitely more mellow than Mr. Brown, and I have a long, long track record of NOT hitting women.

Further, I have experience with performers and their needs. My wife, who has given her approval, is a dancer. I'm used to the fact that you would be spending VAST amounts of time away from me while rehearsing, performing, giving appearances, and everything else that makes up your career. I've consigned myself to the fact that the only real contact we would have for a long time is an occasional brief, intense, physical interlude...

It's OK, baby

Boo.

Bye Lux. Jesus, anyone else read for some good news for a change?

Wordless Wednesday

Sorry for the lack of updates....

Well, it's not like anyone is hanging on my every word but I kind of feel like a blog is a commitment and I haven't been living up to mine.

Anyway, here's why. I don't have anything to say. Shocking, huh? I mean, I can at least usually come up with a dumb (or wildly inappropriate) joke, an offensive opinion, or a picture of cock flavored soup. But for now, I don't seem to be able to pull anything out of the old bean. However, I've been thinking about this and I think I have it figured out.

Ready?

My body is at least a month ahead of my mind right now. It just occurred to me, or more accurately I just remembered, that when my whole wacky ride started on December 3rd, I made a decision to surrender my head. My body was where the fight was, so that's where I would focus my energy. I distinctly remember saying to myself "I will simply go where I am told to go and do what I am told to do until this is over". I quit thinking because I couldn't think about what was going on and do what needed to be done at the same time. The few times I tried, I fell apart.

So now the body is getting to the end of its ordeal. Yeah, I'm skinny and I have a lot of weights to lift, cardio to do, food to eat, yadda, yadda.... I can do that stuff without thinking. That's just will. However, the mind is beginning its trip, and it promises to be interesting. I can afford to think now, and I find myself doing it. All the things that I shoved off to the side to "deal with later" have realized that later is now and are demanding a share of my attention equal to or greater than what the body got. This is proving to be a bit more difficult than I thought it would be. Well, that's a lie. I didn't think about it at all. Probably not the smartest way to address that sort of thing, but hey when you're basically just a dumb redneck from the sticks you do what you can. For most situations, that means throw a band-aid on it and walk it off. That's not working really well here.

So, I'm asking a bunch of questions and feeling a bit... Lost? Mortal? Guilty? Scared? I don't know. Maybe just "feeling a bit" was accurate enough. The first few leaks have shown in a dam that had to break sometime. I'm kind of stuck between frantically trying to patch it and simply moving out of the way to watch it go.

I'll figure it out, eventually. In the meantime, my body is still available and all things considered that's not too bad.

Tagged!

Apparently I was "tagged" by Shannon, so here:



I don't know who to tag myself, so I won't.

Wordless Wednesday

Dont have much today

How about a joke?

What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman?

One says "Hey, you, get offa my cloud!" and one says "Hey, McCloud, get offa my Ewe!"

Wordless Wednesday... A day off

Service outage