naked.
OK, I don't know WTF this is or why I'm even putting it here. I should probably just go to bed. Or howl. Whatever.
God I hate the internet.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
To any marriage minded readers out there...
May I recommend Yvette's bridal. Prices so low, and a web site so horrible, you'll swear it's 1992!
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Oh sure, tell EVERYONE why don't you?
I don't know about the rest of you, but this seems to be pretty accurate to me, with the possible exception of number 2. I don't really care what anyone else uses, and I'm not sure one of my choices in operating systems really says much about me as a person.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Greener than thou
I'm all for responsible choices, but some folks go a little far. "I'm a level 5 vegan!". Seriously, we all know you're just one strip of bacon away from falling off the wagon.
More Bulgarian Idol
Seriously, if you have some time to kill hop on youtube and check out some of the highlights from Bulgarian Music Idol. Ken Lee is probably the best, but it's only the beginning. If you're not soiling yourself from laughter, go have a drink or two and try again. If that doesn't work, you're probably dead and KEEP YOUR FOUL ZOMBIE ASS OFF MY PORCH.
Thanks Brandie
Ken Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee tulibu dibu douchoo!!!!!
P.S. I will never blog drunk again until the next time I blog drunk.
P.S. I will never blog drunk again until the next time I blog drunk.
Monday, March 10, 2008
You sir...
should die in a motherf**king fire. "Waaaaa, I'm all butt hurt because someone pointed out that I'm a retard online".
Sunday, March 09, 2008
I just gotta wonder...
How much preventative health care, or education, or research into smarter energy or any one of a bunch of cool things we could have purchased for this much money? I also have to wonder what we got instead... Because I'm not seeing a lot of benefit, and it doesn't seem like many other people are seeing any either.
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Friday, March 07, 2008
Wait what?
Just the other day you were saying this and now you're saying this? The leader of the free world ladies and gentlemen. God, I hope Mr. McKenna was right. I've given up hope.
Thursday, March 06, 2008
I have friends that are movie stars
OK, video stars.... OK, a friend has a good role in a video. This probably won't mean much to you if you're not a metal head, but 3 inches of blood is putting out some pretty good stuff in the "NWOBHM" style. Weird how everything old is new again. Anyway, they have a new video out for ‘Trial of Champions’ and my buddy Samson is in it. He's the long haired, bearded gladiator... A role this man was born to play. The only thing wrong with the video? Samson looses. Samson doesn't lose, just ask him.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
Cobain... Part II
Brandie, I hate to have to do this.... But you tried to paint GWAR fans (and I should know, I am one) with the same brush as KC fanboys. Yes, GWAR fans are dumb. All of us. Who else would sit around and giggle at full sized action figures singing songs like "F**king an animal", "Anti Anti-Christ", "The Obliteration Of Flab Quarv 7", and "Nitro Burning Funny Bong"? Who else would get excited at the rock and roll equivalent of a Gallagher show? However... we're not this dumb:
Part two of the "OMG KURT WAS SO AWSUM" guys conversation with me:
"wee will mett 2 hours frum now 0r u can call me at 254 342 2234 bitch kurn is awsum im goin to go dig up the corps of ur mommy now bitch!!"
Wow. And yes I did assume the identity of an under aged camwhore (complete with pictures stolen from Myspace), troll boards know for having a pedo population, and give his number out as a "really mature girl looking for older friends". I'm seeing something with Chris Hansen and an invitation to "have a seat" sometime in his future. I also posted it on a certain message board known for griefing people far beyond the point of humor.
What have we learned? 1) John REALLY needs to get back to work. 2) kurn is awsum 3) My mommies corps is probably being violated as we speak. Damn, that's sad. She loves the Marines SO MUCH. 4) Anyone who underestimates the lengths to which I will go for a laugh does so at their own peril.
In the immortal words of Ice Cube, I gotta say it was a good day.
John "cocked face fat watless pice of shitr, waiting to get his thout slit" Judy
Part two of the "OMG KURT WAS SO AWSUM" guys conversation with me:
"wee will mett 2 hours frum now 0r u can call me at 254 342 2234 bitch kurn is awsum im goin to go dig up the corps of ur mommy now bitch!!"
Wow. And yes I did assume the identity of an under aged camwhore (complete with pictures stolen from Myspace), troll boards know for having a pedo population, and give his number out as a "really mature girl looking for older friends". I'm seeing something with Chris Hansen and an invitation to "have a seat" sometime in his future. I also posted it on a certain message board known for griefing people far beyond the point of humor.
What have we learned? 1) John REALLY needs to get back to work. 2) kurn is awsum 3) My mommies corps is probably being violated as we speak. Damn, that's sad. She loves the Marines SO MUCH. 4) Anyone who underestimates the lengths to which I will go for a laugh does so at their own peril.
In the immortal words of Ice Cube, I gotta say it was a good day.
John "cocked face fat watless pice of shitr, waiting to get his thout slit" Judy
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Happy Birthday Mr. Cobain
In your honor, I spent the day starting flame wars on YouTube. It's amazing how literate some of his fans are:
"UR A FUKIN CUNT ASS BITCH MOTHER FUKER I WANT TO SEE U GET WASTED ON HERION THEN LET ME C UR LIFE GET FUKED DONT EVER MAKE THAT COMENT AGIN OR I WILL FIND U N SLIT UR MOTHERFUKIN THOUT U COCKED FACE FAT I NO WHO U R MY FRIEND CZ UR ASS ERRDAY SOO SHUT IT B4 I KILL IT NIRVANA 4 LIFE ASS WHOLE RIP FUK U U FUKING WASTLESS PICE OF SHITR GOO FUK UR DEAD MOM U COCK SUKER!!"
Kurt Cobain... an errday hero. NIRVANA 4 LIFE!
John Judy... A cocked face fat watless pice of shitr, waiting to get his thout slit.
Sorry Brandie, it had to be done.
"UR A FUKIN CUNT ASS BITCH MOTHER FUKER I WANT TO SEE U GET WASTED ON HERION THEN LET ME C UR LIFE GET FUKED DONT EVER MAKE THAT COMENT AGIN OR I WILL FIND U N SLIT UR MOTHERFUKIN THOUT U COCKED FACE FAT I NO WHO U R MY FRIEND CZ UR ASS ERRDAY SOO SHUT IT B4 I KILL IT NIRVANA 4 LIFE ASS WHOLE RIP FUK U U FUKING WASTLESS PICE OF SHITR GOO FUK UR DEAD MOM U COCK SUKER!!"
Kurt Cobain... an errday hero. NIRVANA 4 LIFE!
John Judy... A cocked face fat watless pice of shitr, waiting to get his thout slit.
Sorry Brandie, it had to be done.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Random thought
Just watched an "American Experience" special on Kit Carson, and it reminded me of a sad fact. It's all too often, and a great injustice, that great men end up being the fulcrum for levers used by lesser men. There's something to be said for doing your own heavy lifting.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Or was it... MURDER?!
As some of you may know, CSI has been my constant companion during my "preemptive retirement". This might help explain why.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Sad to say
But I can't believe this doesn't happen more. FYI, I was a bicycle commuter in Portland for years. For several of those years, the commute was between 15 and 20 miles daily. For a couple of years, it put me in the same spot were this guy was killed. One of the reasons I stopped was Trimet drivers. They're careless, clueless and dangerous. I've had several crowd the bike lane while I was in, passing me withing inches. I've also have them speed up to get in front of me, swerve into the bike lane, and nail the brakes (too many times to count). I could go on, but I won't. Everyone who rides in PDX knows what I'm talking about. I always said it was just a matter of time before one of these sanctioned road ragers killed a cyclist. Sometimes it sucks to be right.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Valentine's Day
Shannon and her new burlesque troop, Sugar Q, will be performing here. Check it out, for good times and fun!
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you....
My old boss:
OREGON CITY - The software engineer who killed himself Sunday at the Clackamas County Jail found the means inside his booking cell - a telephone with a foot-long cord.
Brian Truman Hebener, 51, was locked up alone when he hanged himself about 7:30 p.m. from the cord of a wall-mounted phone. Oregon City police arrested him earlier that evening after an altercation with a neighbor.
Phones are provided in nine of the jail's 10 booking cells for inmates to contact their lawyers, said sheriff's spokesman Sgt. Lee Eby. The handsets are designed with short cords to deter suicide attempts.
Eby said jail officials will review the phones as part of an internal investigation prompted by the suicide. "Maybe there's a better one out there," he said of the phone design. "We're reviewing it because we don't want this to happen again."
Between this and my link to this guy (I designed his print ads, renamed his business, and did a bunch of other marketing related work for him years ago), I think I might be cursed.
Oh and hey retarded cop? How about taking the phones out of the cells? How about supervised access to a communal phone? You know, "you been a bad boy so you don't get to use the grown up phone". I know cops aren't generally the brightest bulbs in the box but come on.. "Maybe there's a better one out there"? Dude, I've been drinking all night and it took me 7 seconds to come up with a better plan... And that plan was the best of three I thought of, ALL of which would work better than what you have now, and all of which took me 30 seconds to formulate. SRSLY, we give these morons guns and let them walk among us? WTF? I know children that could have figured this one out.
OREGON CITY - The software engineer who killed himself Sunday at the Clackamas County Jail found the means inside his booking cell - a telephone with a foot-long cord.
Brian Truman Hebener, 51, was locked up alone when he hanged himself about 7:30 p.m. from the cord of a wall-mounted phone. Oregon City police arrested him earlier that evening after an altercation with a neighbor.
Phones are provided in nine of the jail's 10 booking cells for inmates to contact their lawyers, said sheriff's spokesman Sgt. Lee Eby. The handsets are designed with short cords to deter suicide attempts.
Eby said jail officials will review the phones as part of an internal investigation prompted by the suicide. "Maybe there's a better one out there," he said of the phone design. "We're reviewing it because we don't want this to happen again."
Between this and my link to this guy (I designed his print ads, renamed his business, and did a bunch of other marketing related work for him years ago), I think I might be cursed.
Oh and hey retarded cop? How about taking the phones out of the cells? How about supervised access to a communal phone? You know, "you been a bad boy so you don't get to use the grown up phone". I know cops aren't generally the brightest bulbs in the box but come on.. "Maybe there's a better one out there"? Dude, I've been drinking all night and it took me 7 seconds to come up with a better plan... And that plan was the best of three I thought of, ALL of which would work better than what you have now, and all of which took me 30 seconds to formulate. SRSLY, we give these morons guns and let them walk among us? WTF? I know children that could have figured this one out.
Mac vs. PC... How it should go.
Mac: Hi, I'm a Mac!
PC: And I'm a PC!
Mac: Do you ever feel that anthropomorphizing computers in a cynical effort to sell them to rich, white fucks from the West smacks of hubris when they are often assembled in third world countries which their manufacture also pollutes?
PC: Sure. Also, I resent the entire artificial division generated by this tediously formulaic advert which drives a wedge between otherwise intelligent and helpful computer users, regardless of their platform of choice.
Mac: Maybe the real enemy here is consumer culture and capitalist sensibility.
PC: You're right. They're just leveraging primitive tribal affiliations in order to line their pockets with our money.
Mac: How about we fucking kill every advertising executive?
PC: You're on /b/rother.
TC: Hi. I'm Scientology.
Mac/PC: We're coming for you later, fucker.
PC: And I'm a PC!
Mac: Do you ever feel that anthropomorphizing computers in a cynical effort to sell them to rich, white fucks from the West smacks of hubris when they are often assembled in third world countries which their manufacture also pollutes?
PC: Sure. Also, I resent the entire artificial division generated by this tediously formulaic advert which drives a wedge between otherwise intelligent and helpful computer users, regardless of their platform of choice.
Mac: Maybe the real enemy here is consumer culture and capitalist sensibility.
PC: You're right. They're just leveraging primitive tribal affiliations in order to line their pockets with our money.
Mac: How about we fucking kill every advertising executive?
PC: You're on /b/rother.
TC: Hi. I'm Scientology.
Mac/PC: We're coming for you later, fucker.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
You know, some how it just works
Saturday, February 02, 2008
I have discovered
The next step in my evolution. Might need to upgrade the hardware a little, and swap out wine for soda, but the plan is rock solid.
Stupid words
I've always considered myself to be a guy with a pretty decent vocabulary. When I speak, people can easily grasp what I'm attempting to tell them, and I can throw in a 25 cent word here and there to look like a smart guy.
However, every now and then a word comes up and bite me. For years, I could not say "specifically". The word just would not leave my mouth without being first transmogrified (told you about those 25 cent words) into something like "specsdklfahgkl;jsdhgfdshg;lrsl". After attempting to say specifically I would spend the next 30 minutes attempting to free myself from my tongue, which had invariably wrapped itself around my head and lodged its tip in my nose.
Then there was album. Growing up, I heard "alblum"... so that's what I said. I was around 32 when someone (thanks Shannon) finally said "you know it's pronounced "album". I didn't believe and had to look it up. I still like my word better. The extra L makes the world roll off the tongue MUCH easier. Album has a choppy, staccato feel to it that just doesn't seem right. Way too Latin.
And today I was stabbed in the back by remuneration. Once again, for some reason I've always heard "renumeration" so that's what I said. So, when I thought I was asking for payment, I was actually asking to be counted again. Apparently, this error is more common than the album one, but it still makes me feel like one of those "wai u gotta b hatin' on me" types.
However, every now and then a word comes up and bite me. For years, I could not say "specifically". The word just would not leave my mouth without being first transmogrified (told you about those 25 cent words) into something like "specsdklfahgkl;jsdhgfdshg;lrsl". After attempting to say specifically I would spend the next 30 minutes attempting to free myself from my tongue, which had invariably wrapped itself around my head and lodged its tip in my nose.
Then there was album. Growing up, I heard "alblum"... so that's what I said. I was around 32 when someone (thanks Shannon) finally said "you know it's pronounced "album". I didn't believe and had to look it up. I still like my word better. The extra L makes the world roll off the tongue MUCH easier. Album has a choppy, staccato feel to it that just doesn't seem right. Way too Latin.
And today I was stabbed in the back by remuneration. Once again, for some reason I've always heard "renumeration" so that's what I said. So, when I thought I was asking for payment, I was actually asking to be counted again. Apparently, this error is more common than the album one, but it still makes me feel like one of those "wai u gotta b hatin' on me" types.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Dammit!!!
I need to go to bed but planet of the apes JUST started!!!! No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Among the many things I love about this movie is a statement on humanity made in the beginning, We find life... A single, isolated, lonely, fragile example of life... fighting for survival. What do we do upon discovering a unique example of life on a foreign world? Kill it, of course.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Well, about an hour and change to go...
Till this little friend says hi. Hoping for the worst, expecting the best. Yay for space rocks! Anyway, we had a good run. I kissed my wife goodbye and I'm drinking wine. That's good enough for me.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Wow this is kinda of wierd...
and cool. Wouldn't it be great if it worked that way for everyone? Not only would organ transplants be vastly more successful and easier on the recipient, but smell a cure for aids and other similar maladies. Unfortunately, this was probably a fluke, but a fella can dream.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
My day
Sleep till noon
Feed cat
Drink coffee my lovely wife got for me
Watch CSI
Surf /b/
Go to the gym
Go take pictures of scantily clad hot chicks
Go to bar... do crossword puzzle... have a couple beers
Watch History Channel
Eat delicious sammich (thanks for the bread Randy)
Sleep
Yeah, I'm bummed about not working and I hope it ends soon, but I have to admit this is a pretty decent gig.
Feed cat
Drink coffee my lovely wife got for me
Watch CSI
Surf /b/
Go to the gym
Go take pictures of scantily clad hot chicks
Go to bar... do crossword puzzle... have a couple beers
Watch History Channel
Eat delicious sammich (thanks for the bread Randy)
Sleep
Yeah, I'm bummed about not working and I hope it ends soon, but I have to admit this is a pretty decent gig.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Meh, we had a good run
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
"I've canceled that in my area"
OK, you probably all know how I feel about religion (and yes, atheism is a religion). It's a quaint, cute, stupid tradition used by people who can't accept the fact that there are things we don't and will never know (IMHO, wisdom starts with these words... "I DON'T KNOW"), and who feel like they need some one to tell them to be nice and to not be a dick. That being said, some religions are more palatable than others. However, they're all good for teh lulz.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Saturday, January 12, 2008
On being a juggalo
I saw this and thought it was funny. Really, do you need step by step instructions on how to become an epic failure?
1. First off, you can't become a juggalo, you are born a juggalo and one day you just happen to find your way home. You'll know pretty soon off...very easy way to tell, either you got love for your juggalo family or you don't. Thats it.
2. Check out whats goin on in the juggalo world: Faygoluvers.net , Juggalonews.com , gznetwork.net , Myjuggalospace.com , insaneclownposse.com , juggalofaith.com
3. Go to an Insane Clown Posse, Twiztid, Blaze, or Anybody Killa Concert which is optinal you dont always have too.
4. Ignore the haters, if your gonna be down with the family they have you back for ever, but keep in mind that Most of the world hates you once your down.
5. If nothing else learn to accept and appreciate everyone for who they are and just enjoy life. Thats what the juggalo family is about.To each his own. Be you and we got ya back.
6. There's no such thing as a true juggalo. Just as long as you believe in the Dark Carnival.
7. if you listen to icp and you don't get a weird feeling in your stomach, like a really good feeling you can't explain (icp mentions that the juggalos can feel it inside when they talk about the Dark Carnival or the 6 joker's cards) then you can be an icp fan but not a juggalo. DON'T LIE EITHER. BECAUSE THE DARK CARNIVAL WILL KNOW IF YOUR LYING.
8. You must realize the Dark Carnival is GOD. (as said by icp) Some fake ass juggahos believe the Carnival isn't GOD, but real juggalos believe in the gospel of insane clown posse's teachings.
1. First off, you can't become a juggalo, you are born a juggalo and one day you just happen to find your way home. You'll know pretty soon off...very easy way to tell, either you got love for your juggalo family or you don't. Thats it.
2. Check out whats goin on in the juggalo world: Faygoluvers.net , Juggalonews.com , gznetwork.net , Myjuggalospace.com , insaneclownposse.com , juggalofaith.com
3. Go to an Insane Clown Posse, Twiztid, Blaze, or Anybody Killa Concert which is optinal you dont always have too.
4. Ignore the haters, if your gonna be down with the family they have you back for ever, but keep in mind that Most of the world hates you once your down.
5. If nothing else learn to accept and appreciate everyone for who they are and just enjoy life. Thats what the juggalo family is about.To each his own. Be you and we got ya back.
6. There's no such thing as a true juggalo. Just as long as you believe in the Dark Carnival.
7. if you listen to icp and you don't get a weird feeling in your stomach, like a really good feeling you can't explain (icp mentions that the juggalos can feel it inside when they talk about the Dark Carnival or the 6 joker's cards) then you can be an icp fan but not a juggalo. DON'T LIE EITHER. BECAUSE THE DARK CARNIVAL WILL KNOW IF YOUR LYING.
8. You must realize the Dark Carnival is GOD. (as said by icp) Some fake ass juggahos believe the Carnival isn't GOD, but real juggalos believe in the gospel of insane clown posse's teachings.
Thanks R&B
Oh and Brandie hits like a girl.
No, I will never let you live this down. Sorry, to awesome.
No, I will never let you live this down. Sorry, to awesome.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Tonights goodness
1) I could watch CSI Miami for days. There's more cheese than a domino's pizza, hot chicks.... and murder
2) For our friends... when Shannon and I are fighting, you'll know it. We often disagree, because I am so very cool, handsome, and intelligent and Shannon is so very wrong.
3) I have always considered myself to be a slightly above average writer. I've wanted to write a short story or some such thing for quite a while, but I haven't been able to find an idea that resonated with me enough to make it fun to write. Tonight, while sitting across the bar from a guy that reminded me of myself, I had a blinding flash. This idea would make a fantastic movie, so if you're a script writer or some such... let me know. You want this. I think I am going to try and take a first crack at it myself.
4) I have the most awesome wife ever. I am really going to miss her next week.
5) Thanks to those folks who helped me get my references together tonight. I wish I was working with you all instead of relying on you to help me work somewhere else. C'est la vie.
6) Still looking for work, though I have some irons in the fire. If you're a cool company doing good things, and you need a truly multi-purpose guy, I think your time is running out.
2) For our friends... when Shannon and I are fighting, you'll know it. We often disagree, because I am so very cool, handsome, and intelligent and Shannon is so very wrong.
3) I have always considered myself to be a slightly above average writer. I've wanted to write a short story or some such thing for quite a while, but I haven't been able to find an idea that resonated with me enough to make it fun to write. Tonight, while sitting across the bar from a guy that reminded me of myself, I had a blinding flash. This idea would make a fantastic movie, so if you're a script writer or some such... let me know. You want this. I think I am going to try and take a first crack at it myself.
4) I have the most awesome wife ever. I am really going to miss her next week.
5) Thanks to those folks who helped me get my references together tonight. I wish I was working with you all instead of relying on you to help me work somewhere else. C'est la vie.
6) Still looking for work, though I have some irons in the fire. If you're a cool company doing good things, and you need a truly multi-purpose guy, I think your time is running out.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Visualizing Success
Sweeny Todd
1) It's very hard for me to admit that I like musicals.
2) I like musicals
3) The set and costumes were AMAZING
4) Tim Burton + Johnny Depp + Helena Bonham Carter = Magic.
The fact that the key players weren't trained vocalists made the movie better. Rather than a display of vocal talent, this film delivered superior film craft and acting, with good music thrown in as a bonus. If I want to hear epic singers, I'll hit the opera. Instead, I got what I want from a musical movie... A great story, told by great story teller, in musical form.
Anyway, I dug it. Your mileage may vary.
2) I like musicals
3) The set and costumes were AMAZING
4) Tim Burton + Johnny Depp + Helena Bonham Carter = Magic.
The fact that the key players weren't trained vocalists made the movie better. Rather than a display of vocal talent, this film delivered superior film craft and acting, with good music thrown in as a bonus. If I want to hear epic singers, I'll hit the opera. Instead, I got what I want from a musical movie... A great story, told by great story teller, in musical form.
Anyway, I dug it. Your mileage may vary.
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Update on my linux problems
I suck. After blaming the problem on how newer kernels handled disk i/o and journaling, and after trying multiple different versions of multiple different distros, I found the problem. A bad memory module. You want to know the best part? When this whole crap storm started, I suspected as much and ran a memory test. I stopped it because it was taking to long. Spending an extra 3 minutes would have saved me three weeks.
Oh well, at least I was introduced to Ubuntu, which is freakin' awesome for your day to day box. When I get back to work, I am going to push for Ubuntu for clients. It's easy and it works.
Oh well, at least I was introduced to Ubuntu, which is freakin' awesome for your day to day box. When I get back to work, I am going to push for Ubuntu for clients. It's easy and it works.
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
one more thing
Comcast is shitting up connections to my web content again.... as they've done every time I've published something since the "upgrade". God, they suck. Anyway, sorry.
Just to clear things up
As I have been barred from hitting people by a certain wife, I wanted to make sure that no one thought I actually got into a fight.... Although it is lame that when I finally pick a new sport to replace cycling I can't get the support of my spouse. I tried to sell her on the cardiovascular benefits, but I got nowhere.
I simply had a nasty run in with gravity. I took a nap in a very dark and supposedly haunted place (I actually spent 20 minutes or so taunting the ghosts to try to get them to show up). After a while, Nick (who claims to be my friend) called out for me. Being the responsive, attentive, caring pal I am I shot up like a rocket. Being the drunk, tired, disoriented guy I was (am), I promptly fell right back down again... Neglecting to break my fall with anything except my eye.
At this point, I painted a mural on the floor in the only medium available to me (blood) and went home.
That's it. No fights, no punching. Seriously, one of my resolutions this year (as it has been for years) is to be a much more mellow guy. I'll keep trying. Maybe one day I'll get it right.
I simply had a nasty run in with gravity. I took a nap in a very dark and supposedly haunted place (I actually spent 20 minutes or so taunting the ghosts to try to get them to show up). After a while, Nick (who claims to be my friend) called out for me. Being the responsive, attentive, caring pal I am I shot up like a rocket. Being the drunk, tired, disoriented guy I was (am), I promptly fell right back down again... Neglecting to break my fall with anything except my eye.
At this point, I painted a mural on the floor in the only medium available to me (blood) and went home.
That's it. No fights, no punching. Seriously, one of my resolutions this year (as it has been for years) is to be a much more mellow guy. I'll keep trying. Maybe one day I'll get it right.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Quick Note
We're back. I'll fill in the details later, but suffice to say that if heaven isn't like the beach in Cabo at 10 a.m. (before the gringos show up) I don't wanna go.
Viva El Mango Deck!
Viva El Mango Deck!
Friday, December 14, 2007
I worry
about this sometimes. However, I don't think I'd be happy if I cleaned my act up. I like to laugh at things that are wildly inappropriate. If it makes people uncomfortable, chances are I'll laugh at it, at least a little bit. Does this mean I really condone the type of things mentioned in some of the things I find funny? No, and it's the very fact that I don't that makes them amuzing. As I hope those who know me would be able to recognize, there's few people out there who feel as strongly about justice, charity, and doing the right thing as much as I do. Actually, those beliefs have cost me plenty (especially the last one)... But the definition of humor if often the juxtaposition of data into situations where it obviously does not belong. It's the fact that something is so far from it's rightful place that makes it funny.
And yes I swear. Most of us do. I have my own definition of when it's appropriate and when it's not. When it's not? When someone might rightfully take offense and/or when working (as opposed to at work). Everyone I know swears. Some more than others, but it happens. It's communication. People have employed profanity in casual conversation as long as casual conversation has existed. It's the spice that makes informal communication as tasty as it can be. Is it always needed? No, but neither is salt and you sure wish you had it available to you when it's needed.
I would hope that a potential employer would be able to see the difference between a crude blog entry and the person who talks to customers, or would at least be willing to discuss the issue. If they're not, then the employer and I are probably not a good fit. As Walt Whitman said "I am large, I contain multitudes". When you buy some John, you get the ones you want. However, the ones you don't make me who I am, and thus are a part of the ones you bought. You don't have to see/hear/etc. the sides you don't like, but unidimensional people don't tend to be creative, aggressive, insightful, problem solvers and in my experience that's what I'm good at, so realize there might be a rough edge or two. Or, as Mr. Munroe put it:
FUCK. THAT. SHIT.
And yes I swear. Most of us do. I have my own definition of when it's appropriate and when it's not. When it's not? When someone might rightfully take offense and/or when working (as opposed to at work). Everyone I know swears. Some more than others, but it happens. It's communication. People have employed profanity in casual conversation as long as casual conversation has existed. It's the spice that makes informal communication as tasty as it can be. Is it always needed? No, but neither is salt and you sure wish you had it available to you when it's needed.
I would hope that a potential employer would be able to see the difference between a crude blog entry and the person who talks to customers, or would at least be willing to discuss the issue. If they're not, then the employer and I are probably not a good fit. As Walt Whitman said "I am large, I contain multitudes". When you buy some John, you get the ones you want. However, the ones you don't make me who I am, and thus are a part of the ones you bought. You don't have to see/hear/etc. the sides you don't like, but unidimensional people don't tend to be creative, aggressive, insightful, problem solvers and in my experience that's what I'm good at, so realize there might be a rough edge or two. Or, as Mr. Munroe put it:
FUCK. THAT. SHIT.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Thank you Amazon!
For reminding me that I am not the only person in the world with too much time on their hands.
I now return to starting flame wars in youtube comments.
I now return to starting flame wars in youtube comments.
So familar I could cry
This is pretty much exactly how my last Fedora upgrade went. BTW, I am now on 8 as a result of trying to clean up all the stuff that broke in 7 as a result of running a simple "yum update all". The whole thing was brought on by the hope of getting azureus to run without mysteriously dying. What was the end result? Massive file system corruption any time more than 10 or so packages were upgraded via yum. I am THIS close to throwing Ubuntu on my server as well. It may be Linux for dummies, but it just freaking works....
Or maybe Dan is right and FreeBSD is the way to go....
Or maybe Debian....
And the cycle begins again.
Or maybe Dan is right and FreeBSD is the way to go....
Or maybe Debian....
And the cycle begins again.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
Shannon this is for you
I think this might answer your question.... kinda.
"LADIES... we may have an ID on the flight plan." (queue sunglasses)
Oh and I'm pretty damn happy that it's you and me.
"LADIES... we may have an ID on the flight plan." (queue sunglasses)
Oh and I'm pretty damn happy that it's you and me.
Friday, December 07, 2007
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Fat and happy
I am full of delicious dinner (chicken and dumplings, and a slice of pizza for desert) and whiskey. Shannon is out at a show. The means I will defile the couch with my nakedity and watch the history channel until I fall asleep whilst the lineage of latex paint is whispered lovingly into my ears (Modern Marvels rocks my world). Tonight, I will dream of polymer strings and red ocher. This, ladies and gentlemen, is very close to what heaven must fell like.
Oh, and it pleases me that Firefox picked up my misspelling of "must". Originally, I typed "myst" (close, right?). Firefox's suggestion? "Myst".
Damn right. That was THE game back in the day.
Oh, and it pleases me that Firefox picked up my misspelling of "must". Originally, I typed "myst" (close, right?). Firefox's suggestion? "Myst".
Damn right. That was THE game back in the day.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
OK, this is it before I pass out
GIS balls. First result. I don't know about you this win in my book.
Guy #1 - I am touching giant ball.
Guy #2 - I would respond, but I'm somehow hypnotized by giant ball... I must wonder though, where's the other one?
Guy #1 - I am touching giant ball.
Guy #2 - I would respond, but I'm somehow hypnotized by giant ball... I must wonder though, where's the other one?
Seriously...
Why (besides gaming) would you pay for this and this when this is free, faster, easier to install, and offers you all the same stuff?
I came across ubuntu in my search for a distro to replace Fedora, which is really pissing me off lately. While I wouldn't use it on a server, it's a very fast, easy, no hassle solution for your "day to day, get stuff done" machine. I'm currently dual booting my laptop with 7.10 and XP, but the XP partition is losing value every day. I simply don't need it. I have more options and more control with gutsy... and that's not even comparing it to the pile of shite that is Vista.
Like any distro, there is work to be done to get it dialed. However, I'd much rather do that (it''rs fun anyway... like having a new car and going shopping for accessories, except they're mostly free) than spend my time trying to convince another MS abortion that I actually know what I'm doing and can be trusted.
I came across ubuntu in my search for a distro to replace Fedora, which is really pissing me off lately. While I wouldn't use it on a server, it's a very fast, easy, no hassle solution for your "day to day, get stuff done" machine. I'm currently dual booting my laptop with 7.10 and XP, but the XP partition is losing value every day. I simply don't need it. I have more options and more control with gutsy... and that's not even comparing it to the pile of shite that is Vista.
Like any distro, there is work to be done to get it dialed. However, I'd much rather do that (it''rs fun anyway... like having a new car and going shopping for accessories, except they're mostly free) than spend my time trying to convince another MS abortion that I actually know what I'm doing and can be trusted.
LOL
"That was the hottest interspecies sex since Matthew Broderick nailed Sara Jessica Parker."
True dat.
True dat.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Good night sweet prince... Enough already
OK will the people I like stop dying for Christ's sake?! Listen, I'm unemployed, depressed, and old... The very last thing I need is for my heroes to drop dead all over the place. Knock it off already.
Good night sweet prince
Seriously, I think the world was a better place when guys like you were more abundant. You were a hero in my book.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
OK, one more before I go to bed
For Shannon and for all my friends who are in long term relationships... Seriously why does this product not exist?! Sleeping with a partner is awesome except for the fact that you have two arms. Design a better mattress, negate the vestigial arm, and suddenly man and woman or man and man or woman and woman or what ever the fuck floats your boat as long as we're all consenting adult humans can sleep in peace whilst sharing the body heat that is so precious in the era of $100 a barrel oil and I don't have a fireplace to burn the spare wood from my projects and my house isn't insulated very much because it's old and yeah baking bread heats up the house but christ how much bread do you need and even then your power bill goes up and you're still contributing to global warming and it's not like you hate the planet but your fucking lips are blue and you haven't felt your toes in days and you left your car keys on the kitchen table and you had to chip them off the next day to go to work and the cat started sleeping in the yard because the street light provides some warmth and TV sucks because you can't see shit through the fog that is your breath and you stink because the shower water turns into artificial snow before it hits your body which would be kinda cool except now all these 20 something mountain dew drinking losers want to shred your tube and make ads about it.
Sorry, this started out as a rave for a great comic. It ended with me just wanting to write a run-on sentence. I promise, I'm done. I'm going to bed, and tomorrow Shannon and I will go to the coast. I will not touch a keyboard.
I hope you all are doing something awesome over the holiday, and I hope it turns out 10 times better than you thought it would. Especially Brian and Ashley.... And maybe Brandie and Robert.
Sorry, this started out as a rave for a great comic. It ended with me just wanting to write a run-on sentence. I promise, I'm done. I'm going to bed, and tomorrow Shannon and I will go to the coast. I will not touch a keyboard.
I hope you all are doing something awesome over the holiday, and I hope it turns out 10 times better than you thought it would. Especially Brian and Ashley.... And maybe Brandie and Robert.
I want a super toilet seat!!!!!
Dude! Check out the "happiness" link. Marketing speak at it's best (or worst... same thing).
Why wont you die?
I'm 28 minutes into "catacombs" and I want to kill Shannyn Sossamon so bad it hurts. A) Her character is the single most annoying presence in a movie ever. This person would not exist in reality, as Mother Teresa would not possess the restraint necessary to keep from kicking her teeth in. B) "Shannyn". Really? Not "Shannon" or "Shannan" but "Shannyn". Lemme guess.... The "y" is for "y aren't you dead yet"?
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Yeah, OK, Im repeating myself...
But A) In vino veritas
and
B) If this is not the entire reason Al Gore created the internet, I don't know what it.
and
B) If this is not the entire reason Al Gore created the internet, I don't know what it.
Fucking hentai is gross
Now I'm a bigger pervert than your average pervert, but DAMN.... How are images of underage girls with massive penises even remotely erotic? Tentacle rape is funny once or twice, but after a while it's just weird. Yeah, I realize there's some hentai with actual pr0n value, but most of what I've seen is just f'ing weird... And I'm down for most anything.
Maybe I hang out on a certain website too much, but goddammit all you creepy japanese and wapanese guys need to knock it the fuck off.
I despise feminism. I think defining your existence by your sex/gender or who you prefer to have sex with is the sign of a weak mind that gave up the hunt for things that made it hurt in favor of being "an individual, like everyone else". However, when I see even a little of this garbage by mistake I want to hand in my meat eating, beer drinking, "don't give a shit", tough guy card and join the most militant feminist group that would have me. I guess I carry this rant to most pr0n in general, but I'm going to start with the low hanging fruit. Seriously, chicks don't have dicks and don't enjoy surprise sexual encounters with sword wielding octopi... For the most part.
tl;dr - Gross pr0n is gross.
Maybe I hang out on a certain website too much, but goddammit all you creepy japanese and wapanese guys need to knock it the fuck off.
I despise feminism. I think defining your existence by your sex/gender or who you prefer to have sex with is the sign of a weak mind that gave up the hunt for things that made it hurt in favor of being "an individual, like everyone else". However, when I see even a little of this garbage by mistake I want to hand in my meat eating, beer drinking, "don't give a shit", tough guy card and join the most militant feminist group that would have me. I guess I carry this rant to most pr0n in general, but I'm going to start with the low hanging fruit. Seriously, chicks don't have dicks and don't enjoy surprise sexual encounters with sword wielding octopi... For the most part.
tl;dr - Gross pr0n is gross.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Hmm..... I smell a rat.
I got one of these the other day, though not in regard to any anime. At first, I thought it was what it appeared to be. They had a question regarding the copyright of some material I was grabbing through a torrent, and dropped me a line to say "hey, if you're stealing stuff knock it off". However, in view of this article, I think it may have been something else. Basically, it appears comcast is finding new and interesting ways to crack down on people using the bandwidth they've purchased, as their last attempt was wildly unpopular and got them sued...
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
What I've learned tonight
A) I MUST learn better self control around people who make me want to hurt them very badly. I may be right, but the law is on their side.
B) The law sucks.
C) "Atheists believe absolutely in something that they can not prove."
"Theists believe absolutely in something that they can not prove."
"Agnostics would rather have a beer."
D) Nikko is a very good friend, and I should not treat him poorly.
E) I am not in a good mood, and haven't been for quite some time.
F) Chicken and dumplings is fukken awesome!
G) Having Stephen do my yard work makes me smile, because he is rad and does a great job.
H) Any Linux distro that doesn't allow you to disable SE Linux right off the bat is shite.
I) We have a soul. But it’s made of lots of tiny robots.
J) Cougar hunting hipster dicks might appear to be good prey, but they are often more trouble than they're worth. Hang around the watering hole a little longer and maybe they'll just go away, saving you the trouble.
K) This:
is very likely what god looks like.
L) Justice, much liek delicious cake, is a lie.
B) The law sucks.
C) "Atheists believe absolutely in something that they can not prove."
"Theists believe absolutely in something that they can not prove."
"Agnostics would rather have a beer."
D) Nikko is a very good friend, and I should not treat him poorly.
E) I am not in a good mood, and haven't been for quite some time.
F) Chicken and dumplings is fukken awesome!
G) Having Stephen do my yard work makes me smile, because he is rad and does a great job.
H) Any Linux distro that doesn't allow you to disable SE Linux right off the bat is shite.
I) We have a soul. But it’s made of lots of tiny robots.
J) Cougar hunting hipster dicks might appear to be good prey, but they are often more trouble than they're worth. Hang around the watering hole a little longer and maybe they'll just go away, saving you the trouble.
K) This:
is very likely what god looks like.
L) Justice, much liek delicious cake, is a lie.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Opprotunity Cost
You know I wonder how much health care and education 2.76 trillion dollars would buy.
Oh and while I'm here.... From what I can tell, FC 7&8 suck total ass. I'm going back to Zod.
Oh and while I'm here.... From what I can tell, FC 7&8 suck total ass. I'm going back to Zod.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Why oh why
Did I try to leave Zod for Werewolf? I got the upgrade to go finally, but it dusted my samba installation, killed yum, and did various and sundry other nasty things. So YAY I'm rebuilding my Linux box!
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Yay!!!! Free drugs!!!!
Behold the magical power of Jenkem!
Oh, and "butthash" lol.
Oh and in typical cop fashion... "received and email".
Oh, and "butthash" lol.
Oh and in typical cop fashion... "received and email".
What's this?
Are you telling me that the Portland police treat people with callous indifference and have a documentable disdain for the very people they're most likely to encounter while attempting to protect and serve? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo..........................
People of Portland, wake up. The police are NOT your friends. They are corrupt, greedy, bullies. They hurt people, or let them hurt themselves, for fun. You wouldn't accept behavior like this from your neighbor. Why do you accept from people who make their living from your tax dollars?
People of Portland, wake up. The police are NOT your friends. They are corrupt, greedy, bullies. They hurt people, or let them hurt themselves, for fun. You wouldn't accept behavior like this from your neighbor. Why do you accept from people who make their living from your tax dollars?
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
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