New photos

Feel free to be jealous. We do enjoy the Mexico.

Quick Note

We're back. I'll fill in the details later, but suffice to say that if heaven isn't like the beach in Cabo at 10 a.m. (before the gringos show up) I don't wanna go.

Viva El Mango Deck!

I worry

about this sometimes. However, I don't think I'd be happy if I cleaned my act up. I like to laugh at things that are wildly inappropriate. If it makes people uncomfortable, chances are I'll laugh at it, at least a little bit. Does this mean I really condone the type of things mentioned in some of the things I find funny? No, and it's the very fact that I don't that makes them amuzing. As I hope those who know me would be able to recognize, there's few people out there who feel as strongly about justice, charity, and doing the right thing as much as I do. Actually, those beliefs have cost me plenty (especially the last one)... But the definition of humor if often the juxtaposition of data into situations where it obviously does not belong. It's the fact that something is so far from it's rightful place that makes it funny.

And yes I swear. Most of us do. I have my own definition of when it's appropriate and when it's not. When it's not? When someone might rightfully take offense and/or when working (as opposed to at work). Everyone I know swears. Some more than others, but it happens. It's communication. People have employed profanity in casual conversation as long as casual conversation has existed. It's the spice that makes informal communication as tasty as it can be. Is it always needed? No, but neither is salt and you sure wish you had it available to you when it's needed.

I would hope that a potential employer would be able to see the difference between a crude blog entry and the person who talks to customers, or would at least be willing to discuss the issue. If they're not, then the employer and I are probably not a good fit. As Walt Whitman said "I am large, I contain multitudes". When you buy some John, you get the ones you want. However, the ones you don't make me who I am, and thus are a part of the ones you bought. You don't have to see/hear/etc. the sides you don't like, but unidimensional people don't tend to be creative, aggressive, insightful, problem solvers and in my experience that's what I'm good at, so realize there might be a rough edge or two. Or, as Mr. Munroe put it:

FUCK. THAT. SHIT.

Whoa Whoa Whoa!

WTF is this?

Thank you Amazon!

For reminding me that I am not the only person in the world with too much time on their hands.

I now return to starting flame wars in youtube comments.

So familar I could cry

This is pretty much exactly how my last Fedora upgrade went. BTW, I am now on 8 as a result of trying to clean up all the stuff that broke in 7 as a result of running a simple "yum update all". The whole thing was brought on by the hope of getting azureus to run without mysteriously dying. What was the end result? Massive file system corruption any time more than 10 or so packages were upgraded via yum. I am THIS close to throwing Ubuntu on my server as well. It may be Linux for dummies, but it just freaking works....

Or maybe Dan is right and FreeBSD is the way to go....

Or maybe Debian....

And the cycle begins again.

To quote George C. Scott....

God help me I love it so.

My hobby

As many of you know, I dig teh religious studies. This is interesting and a note to myself to read further.

P.S. I didn’t eat that (expletive) sandwich or the toielet thing either!

Well this is kinda funny.

Shannon this is for you

I think this might answer your question.... kinda.

"LADIES... we may have an ID on the flight plan." (queue sunglasses)

Oh and I'm pretty damn happy that it's you and me.

I helped

in a small way. And it was fun.

Fat and happy

I am full of delicious dinner (chicken and dumplings, and a slice of pizza for desert) and whiskey. Shannon is out at a show. The means I will defile the couch with my nakedity and watch the history channel until I fall asleep whilst the lineage of latex paint is whispered lovingly into my ears (Modern Marvels rocks my world). Tonight, I will dream of polymer strings and red ocher. This, ladies and gentlemen, is very close to what heaven must fell like.

Oh, and it pleases me that Firefox picked up my misspelling of "must". Originally, I typed "myst" (close, right?). Firefox's suggestion? "Myst".

Damn right. That was THE game back in the day.

OK, this is it before I pass out

GIS balls. First result. I don't know about you this win in my book.

Guy #1 - I am touching giant ball.
Guy #2 - I would respond, but I'm somehow hypnotized by giant ball... I must wonder though, where's the other one?

Seriously...

Why (besides gaming) would you pay for this and this when this is free, faster, easier to install, and offers you all the same stuff?

I came across ubuntu in my search for a distro to replace Fedora, which is really pissing me off lately. While I wouldn't use it on a server, it's a very fast, easy, no hassle solution for your "day to day, get stuff done" machine. I'm currently dual booting my laptop with 7.10 and XP, but the XP partition is losing value every day. I simply don't need it. I have more options and more control with gutsy... and that's not even comparing it to the pile of shite that is Vista.

Like any distro, there is work to be done to get it dialed. However, I'd much rather do that (it''rs fun anyway... like having a new car and going shopping for accessories, except they're mostly free) than spend my time trying to convince another MS abortion that I actually know what I'm doing and can be trusted.

LOL

"That was the hottest interspecies sex since Matthew Broderick nailed Sara Jessica Parker."

True dat.

Qoute of the night

Shannon: Yeah, that's the kinda girl you wanna keep face up.

Further proof that John is probably gay

This is one of my favorite songs, and I love the movie too. DON'T YOU JUDGE ME!

Good night sweet prince... Enough already

OK will the people I like stop dying for Christ's sake?! Listen, I'm unemployed, depressed, and old... The very last thing I need is for my heroes to drop dead all over the place. Knock it off already.

Good night sweet prince

Seriously, I think the world was a better place when guys like you were more abundant. You were a hero in my book.

Good night sweet prince

I never really liked the band but still..

I'm so glad...

I'm not the only one.

Oh and I'm freezing to death.

OK, one more before I go to bed

For Shannon and for all my friends who are in long term relationships... Seriously why does this product not exist?! Sleeping with a partner is awesome except for the fact that you have two arms. Design a better mattress, negate the vestigial arm, and suddenly man and woman or man and man or woman and woman or what ever the fuck floats your boat as long as we're all consenting adult humans can sleep in peace whilst sharing the body heat that is so precious in the era of $100 a barrel oil and I don't have a fireplace to burn the spare wood from my projects and my house isn't insulated very much because it's old and yeah baking bread heats up the house but christ how much bread do you need and even then your power bill goes up and you're still contributing to global warming and it's not like you hate the planet but your fucking lips are blue and you haven't felt your toes in days and you left your car keys on the kitchen table and you had to chip them off the next day to go to work and the cat started sleeping in the yard because the street light provides some warmth and TV sucks because you can't see shit through the fog that is your breath and you stink because the shower water turns into artificial snow before it hits your body which would be kinda cool except now all these 20 something mountain dew drinking losers want to shred your tube and make ads about it.

Sorry, this started out as a rave for a great comic. It ended with me just wanting to write a run-on sentence. I promise, I'm done. I'm going to bed, and tomorrow Shannon and I will go to the coast. I will not touch a keyboard.

I hope you all are doing something awesome over the holiday, and I hope it turns out 10 times better than you thought it would. Especially Brian and Ashley.... And maybe Brandie and Robert.

Quote of the night

CSI Miami guy: "Who is this guy?"
Shannon: "Your mom."

For Shannon

I'm just sayin'. Jesus fucking hates dirty words.

Or maybe....

You're just a freak. You know, Occam's razor and all.

Hail Satan.

I want a super toilet seat!!!!!

Dude! Check out the "happiness" link. Marketing speak at it's best (or worst... same thing).

Why wont you die?

I'm 28 minutes into "catacombs" and I want to kill Shannyn Sossamon so bad it hurts. A) Her character is the single most annoying presence in a movie ever. This person would not exist in reality, as Mother Teresa would not possess the restraint necessary to keep from kicking her teeth in. B) "Shannyn". Really? Not "Shannon" or "Shannan" but "Shannyn". Lemme guess.... The "y" is for "y aren't you dead yet"?

Yeah, OK, Im repeating myself...

But A) In vino veritas
and
B) If this is not the entire reason Al Gore created the internet, I don't know what it.

Fucking hentai is gross

Now I'm a bigger pervert than your average pervert, but DAMN.... How are images of underage girls with massive penises even remotely erotic? Tentacle rape is funny once or twice, but after a while it's just weird. Yeah, I realize there's some hentai with actual pr0n value, but most of what I've seen is just f'ing weird... And I'm down for most anything.

Maybe I hang out on a certain website too much, but goddammit all you creepy japanese and wapanese guys need to knock it the fuck off.

I despise feminism. I think defining your existence by your sex/gender or who you prefer to have sex with is the sign of a weak mind that gave up the hunt for things that made it hurt in favor of being "an individual, like everyone else". However, when I see even a little of this garbage by mistake I want to hand in my meat eating, beer drinking, "don't give a shit", tough guy card and join the most militant feminist group that would have me. I guess I carry this rant to most pr0n in general, but I'm going to start with the low hanging fruit. Seriously, chicks don't have dicks and don't enjoy surprise sexual encounters with sword wielding octopi... For the most part.

tl;dr - Gross pr0n is gross.

Hmm..... I smell a rat.

I got one of these the other day, though not in regard to any anime. At first, I thought it was what it appeared to be. They had a question regarding the copyright of some material I was grabbing through a torrent, and dropped me a line to say "hey, if you're stealing stuff knock it off". However, in view of this article, I think it may have been something else. Basically, it appears comcast is finding new and interesting ways to crack down on people using the bandwidth they've purchased, as their last attempt was wildly unpopular and got them sued...

Oh please die

please

What I've learned tonight

A) I MUST learn better self control around people who make me want to hurt them very badly. I may be right, but the law is on their side.

B) The law sucks.

C) "Atheists believe absolutely in something that they can not prove."

"Theists believe absolutely in something that they can not prove."

"Agnostics would rather have a beer."

D) Nikko is a very good friend, and I should not treat him poorly.

E) I am not in a good mood, and haven't been for quite some time.

F) Chicken and dumplings is fukken awesome!

G) Having Stephen do my yard work makes me smile, because he is rad and does a great job.

H) Any Linux distro that doesn't allow you to disable SE Linux right off the bat is shite.

I) We have a soul. But it’s made of lots of tiny robots.

J) Cougar hunting hipster dicks might appear to be good prey, but they are often more trouble than they're worth. Hang around the watering hole a little longer and maybe they'll just go away, saving you the trouble.

K) This:

is very likely what god looks like.

L) Justice, much liek delicious cake, is a lie.

Slayer Angel of Death 8-Bit Style

Really, do I need to say anything else?

Opprotunity Cost

You know I wonder how much health care and education 2.76 trillion dollars would buy.



Oh and while I'm here.... From what I can tell, FC 7&8 suck total ass. I'm going back to Zod.

Why oh why

Did I try to leave Zod for Werewolf? I got the upgrade to go finally, but it dusted my samba installation, killed yum, and did various and sundry other nasty things. So YAY I'm rebuilding my Linux box!

Yay!!!! Free drugs!!!!

Behold the magical power of Jenkem!


Oh, and "butthash" lol.

Oh and in typical cop fashion... "received and email".

What's this?

Are you telling me that the Portland police treat people with callous indifference and have a documentable disdain for the very people they're most likely to encounter while attempting to protect and serve? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo..........................


People of Portland, wake up. The police are NOT your friends. They are corrupt, greedy, bullies. They hurt people, or let them hurt themselves, for fun. You wouldn't accept behavior like this from your neighbor. Why do you accept from people who make their living from your tax dollars?

I want one

Dude!!!! It's a freakin' 700 foot high ferris wheel!

CNN

Your source for lizard spit and bongs. Actual screen scrape. Seriously CNN, WTF?

What what?

Wait what?

I'm turning Japanese

I really think so.

The best thing I've seen all day

is this. Or maybe this.

Sofa King Awesome

I love this so much. Oh and here's his myspace.

I now ride a white horse

I don't know what little virus or whatever crawled past the well constructed defensive bourbon layer and made me ill, but it's one tough son of a bitch. I left the house for 5 hours today, the longest I've been out in 10 days. In the past 3 days. I've slept around 8 hours... most of that due to the fact that I can't stop coughing. Things are coming out of me that I KNOW never went in. I get winded walking across the street. Food has lost it's appeal. The end is surely near....

That being said, let the sucking up to me for prime shit in my will begin. Bad news? Shannon is already spoken for.

Anyone need a bike?

Shannon is selling hers. Nice ride for a smaller person.

This, ladies and gents....

is how we roll. Anything worth doing is worth doing in your underwear in front of hundreds of people.

What feed tools/subscription mechanism?

I'm thinking of adding an RSS feed, atom feed, or something like that? Anyone interested? What aggregator or whatever do you use?

Never mind.... There's an RSS feed up by my picture. Don't say I never gave you anything.

Yet another Cava rave

As you may know, I am in love with our new local restaurant. We've finally got a decent, some what upscale diner the I can walk to, and that pleases me. I really enjoy a nice 10 block walk, both before and after dinner.

Tonight I had the hamburger. F***ing epic win. Seriously, one of the best "bistro" burgers I've ever had... If not the best.

Why did I never think of

this?

Whoa, Whoa wait a second....

This seems to say that perhaps Portland cops are corrupt thugs! C'mon! As everyone in PDX knows, as long as you're white and willing to look the other way, Portland cops are GREAT!

My favorite quote? "Officers wrote in their reports that Waterhouse ran off, they chased and then bean-bagged and Tasered him. One officer wrote, "He had refused to drop the camera which could be used as a weapon." Of course, using this same line of thinking, you had better be careful around Portland cops if you're wearing pants, or holding a big gulp, or talking on a cell phone, or walking your dog.

The best thing I've done all day.

This probably won't make much sense if you're not a /b/tard.

WRONG

fail.

OK one more funny thing...

Before I go to bed...

"Steve Irwin died the same way he lived.... With animals in his heart".

L. Brent Bozell III

First, nothing screams "please look at me I'm important" and "please beat me up" like guys who put an initial as their first name. The only thing that's worse is the "seconds" and "thirds" of the world. You're not royalty, so knock it off. This douchebag decided to go with both... Meaning his psyche screams "yes I know I suck, but maybe if I name myself audaciously enough 1 out of 20 people in the trailer park will think I'm cool".

Next, I read your piece Mr. Bozell. Fuck you. I wish I had your problems. Put your "can't admit I'm queer so I'll rank on the gays" dress back on, get your over named ass back in the kitchen where you belong, and serve beer to the real men (gay and straight). And don't make me tell you twice, Nancy... See? One simple name and it fits you so much better.

From my favorite thread of today....

I like my women like I like my coffee, COVERED IN BEES!

I like my women like I like my coffee, STRONG ENOUGH TO HOLD A SPOON IN!

I LIKE MY WOMEN LIKE I LIKE MY COFFEE, GROUND UP AND IN THE FREEZER

I like my women like I like my coffee, cheap

I like my women like I like my coffee, taken from her native land in the Himalayas and brought, packaged, to me for a small sum of money.


I like my women like I like my coffee, ON MY DESK WAITING FOR ME IN THE MORNING BITCH

I like my women like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke

I like my women like I like my coffee, ALL OVER MY LAP!


I like my women like I like my coffee, FUCKING HOT

I like my women like I like my coffee A DELIGHT TO THE SENSES, INFINITELY PLEASURABLE YET COMFORTING

I like my women like I like my coffee. In a plastic container filled with ice cubes.

I like my women like I like my coffee, Irish and mixed up with loads of alcohol!

I like my woman like I like my.... oh wait... I'm gay...

I like my women like I like my coffee, picked up at Tim Horton's on a lonely Sunday morning; consumed in the car; and tossed by the side of the road when done

Zzzzzzz.....

So I followed up seeing Turbonegro with a late night bouncing at this show. Music was OK.... But I will say the bands, especially Unearth, really knew how to give their fans a good show. I spent a good deal of the Unearth set HELPING FANS ON TO THE STAGE at the behest of the band. Now, the fans were a bunch of underage douchebags, but having been one once I can understand what a kick ass time those kids must have had. You'll never see me in line for a suicide silence record, but I do have to give it up to all those bands for giving the kids their money's worth.

Oh and that little chick up front with the pink hair was hot as hell. If I wouldn't have been tired, sweaty, and old enough to be her dad.... Well, I would have still made fun of her for being (in the words of the beastie boys) "educated? no. stupid? yup."

Just had dinner at Cava again...

If you live in FOPO, and you haven't eaten here yet, you're making a serious mistake. Great food, great wine, great staff. This is really the kind of spot our area was lacking in a big way. All the stuff you used to have to leave the neighborhood to get is now right in your back yard.

Thank you, Turbonegro

For yetanother awesome show. You love Portland, Portland loves you.

08 election

I'm afraid some of you are not taking my candidate seriously. Have you seen his position on circumstances?

Yay dumbass!

Oh here we go....

I'll bet Tipper Gore's spider sense in tingling over this one: "Police believe Coon, wearing a Marilyn Manson shirt, black jeans and black nail polish, targeted the two teachers he shot Wednesday. Coon's troubles seemed to come to a breaking point this week. Students said Monday's fight was over God — Coon told his classmates he didn't believe in God and instead worshipped rocker Marilyn Manson."

I hate my brain

Once again, I managed to sleep about 90 minutes and now I'm wide awake. Fought it for about 30 minutes before I came downstairs. So, now we get to play the waiting game. Sooner or later the body will pummel the mind into submission. Anyway, I found this. Crashing cars is OK I guess. :(.

Fux0r.

Hey Brandie

Get in the fukken cab already. And have fun cleaning that guys house.

Todays MMA Class

I am tired, and my knees hurt. The knees may be due to the grappling stuff we're doing, or the fact that I was trying out some of the stuff I learned on Ben... On the cement stairs and sidewalk in front of Hawthorne... After drinking.

So anyway, stayed up for most of today. Basically, stuff to do if someones hand is coming at you or if they grab your head. Fun, but DAMN this is a lot of work. However, I do have one more badass point.

Yet more from the "To serve and protect" file...

WTF is with our cops in Oregon?

Oh no! Stomach craps!

Yeah, this. Proof read, bitches!

Ron Paul

Guns don't kill people. RON PAUL kills People.
RON PAUL does not sleep. He waits.
The chief export of RON PAUL is Pain.
RON PAUL has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. RON PAUL 3. Cancer
RON PAUL drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
RON PAUL is my Homeboy.
RON PAUL doesn't go hunting.... RON PAUL GOES KILLING
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for RON PAUL.
RON PAUL doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures RON PAUL has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with RON PAUL.
RON PAUL is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
RON PAUL is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
RON PAUL counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind RON PAUL’ beard. There is only another fist.
When RON PAUL does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
RON PAUL is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
RON PAUL’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
RON PAUL can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
RON PAUL doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
RON PAUL gave Mona Lisa that smile.
RON PAUL can slam a revolving door.
RON PAUL does not get frostbite. RON PAUL bites frost

Stupid computers

I'm drunk, and I want to sleep. Why do you torture me? Do not want.

Anyway, today:

Wake up
Work out
Eat pizza, drink wine
Sleep/TV
Drink LOTS moar
Talk about shooting cops, hot chicks, and motorcycles
Wrestle Ben
Go home
Read some of Brandies book
Fail

Oral LOL

O RLY?

We ate foods here

You should too. Finally, a place where you can get a decent fancyish dinner in FOPO. Shannon and I recommend the mushroom appetizer and the chicken. Because they are good. PROTIP: Chef is from Pok Pok, so c'mon you KNOW the chicken will kick ass. It's like eating Pok Pok chicken in a decent place with good booze.

This

Why I love 4chan

How I feel this morning

To quote GWAR "Now the animal's in pain..... It's in pain, it's in pain, it's in pain.... TERRIBLE PAIN."

My new career

OK, so maybe it's not a new career but it's something fun to do while trying to figure out what I'm going to do next. I started lifting weights again using my old program. It's a LOT more brutal than the stuff I was doing while I was working. Basically it's about 90 minutes of weights and as much cardio as I can throw in (usually running those stupid stairs at Mt. Tabor 5 times) 4-5 days a week. But that's just the warm up. I've also decided to get back on the train I hopped off of years ago with martial arts. This time, however, I've decided to take up MMA. First class was today. Very fun, but very brutal. I'm sore and tired, but I learned a lot. Next class in Thursday.

So basically, I'm using my time to become a badass. What good will this do me? None, probably... but c'mon! It's fun and you can say you knew me before I was all badass cagefighter John.

In other news, I learned that push starting my KLR is not as hard as one would think. It is however, tough enough to count as cardio.

Yeah

this

Worst thing on the internet

I found the new goatse today, in the same way one usually finds things of that nature. If any of you survived the horror that was goatse, you know what I'm talking about. I'm not going to tell you where it is, or even link to it. I will suggest that you don't ever look at it, as it's one of those things you cannot unsee... Like swap.avi (probably the worst of them all, I couldn't even make it through all the screen shots, and you SHOULD NOT TRY), the "eel video", or shake that bear. Seriously, for your own sanity, just don't. I made it to about the 5 second mark, and bailed.

If you don't believe me, you can watch other peoples reaction to it here. Seriously, don't watch it though.

I'm not kidding at all. DO NOT WATCH.

If...

as that lying sack of shit claims, our real goal is to spread democracy and freedom to the rest of the world (no really, the WMD's were just a fake pretext), here is some SERIOUSLY fucking low hanging fruit. C'mon, how long would it take our armed forces to completely dominate Burma? We could send 1/2 the Oregon National Guard over there and they would be done in time to fly home for dinner. We could remove tyranny and fear, and replace it with self determination and hope, in about 2 weeks. Shame they don't have any oil, and that they haven't been important to the u.s. in 60 years or so.

First, it's yet more evidence that Bush and his ilk are liars. Next, how long is it gonna take before we start seeing that for what we spend in criminal, unjust, unwarranted bullshit we could easily create a world free of illiteracy and hunger... and still have billions and billions left over for space exploration and medicine? Wouldn't it be cool if everyone had access to knowledge, everyone had enough to eat every day, and people (bear in mind, these are people just like you and I.... People who love other folks and have other folks love them) didn't have to die from disease just because they were poor?

I really, really don't get it. The choice between killing a people or teaching them to read, feeding them, and trading culture with them seems as plain as this question... Do you want to have friend or do you want to have enemies? Yeah, there's always an asshole or two that doesn't understand anything but a bullet to the head, but by FAR most of us are all the same. We all want to hang out, drink some beers, love our family and friends, and have some fun. Why can't we focus on the 99%? instead of the 1%?

As I've said, as has history has shown, there are two ways to win the type of war we've created for ourselves. 1) You kill everyone who isn't you... man, woman, and child. You erase them from the Earth. In the short term, this works very well. 2) You intermix the cultures. You take from your enemy the things they do better than you, and you allow them to do the same. You trade with them. You mate with them. You worship with them. You farm with them. Basically, you join them and allow them to join you. The cost? Your culture adapts and evolves. It looses parts of itself and gain new parts. The benefit? It lasts and grows stronger, even if it sacrifices it's own identity and becomes part of "humanity". Ask the Greeks, or the Romans, or the Mongols, or the Vikings, or the "Barbarian tribes". Yeah, it hasn't proven all the successful for the native folks of the world, but that's another post.

The problem, as I see it, as that we cannot do the first, we're unwilling to do the second, and we don't have a third option. 1+1+1 = failure.

My Hero

Watch all 5 parts. Gaahl is AWESOME.

Hi, I'm Michelle Duggar

And my vagina is God's clown car.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you....

The next president of the United States. Why not? In keeping with the standard set by by the current occupant he is both batshit insane and has a very limited command of the English language.

Just in case you thought your day sucked...

At least you're this guy. Ouch.

Macys....

Brought to you by Satanic Nazis....

Is there still anyone...

who doesn't think this retarded dipshit isn't insane? Quote: "'I heard somebody say, Where's Mandela?' Well, Mandela's dead because Saddam Hussein killed all the Mandelas,' Bush, who has a reputation for verbal faux pas, said in a press conference in Washington on Thursday."

Well I tell ya' Amerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrica, it's gotta be saddamn's fault. I tell ya' it's the tearwrists!!!!

Thanks once again to the Midwest and the fundies for making us the laughing stock of the planet.

Seriously, how are Nelson Mandela and Saddam Hussein related at all, even a little bit?! Lemme guess, the fabled weapons of mass destruction (remember those? I do) are in South Africa? And how is it that the pretender in chief isn't aware that Nelson Mandela is alive and kicking?

I just wish he, and his voters, would die already. I have room in my heart and mind for intelligent conservatives and their opinions, but this is ridiculous. I say let's bring back Zyklon B and gas the stupid.

Ewwwwwwwwwwww..............

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An admission

I am a HUGE metal head. I've been there since before metal was metal. I was into nwobhm before there was such a term. Black Sabbath saved my life. Black metal makes me smile. And so does this. I just wish Cliff would been there :(. Oh wait, he kinda was.

Hey Josh

Just sayin'.

I have found my animal spirit guide

OMG Help!!!!

My ass is stuck in a well!

Global warming....

is a liberal myth.

A random thought about the next election

OK, so we're all thinking people and we realize that dumbuya is what he is. I'd like to think that half of the country was duped, though in reality I'm certain there are just that many stupid people. Regardless, I'm certain the next vote most of us make will be largely influenced by how un-bush the candidate is.

So, just for a second, let's consider things from the point of view of the Bush voters. In essence, they did the same thing. In much the same way that many of us see a world of lies, stupidity, greed, and brutality, they saw a world of immorality, assaults on their faith, a lack of courage, and soft communism. Therefore, they voted for anything that got them as far away from that as they could.

Here's my problem, and something that has me kind of worried. It seems to me the American political process is rapidly gravitating towards a state where nothing and no one real is represented. Essentially, it's all one or two flavors of demagogy. Everyone is shouting what we want to hear so loudly that we can't hear ourselves think over then din. If we could, we would realize that no one is addressing the subjects that really matter. Things like hunger, justice, access to health care, education, the (and it's probably too late on this one) environment, etc.

So basically, this leaves us in a position where one of two things will happen, or perhaps two of two given enough time. People will either wake up and realize that the system is broken and change via revolution of some sort, or we will continue to be distracted by bread and circuses.

Both ideas are frightening. Change is almost always unpleasant, at least in the short term. On the other hand, willfully ignoring the fact that your ship is sinking is terrifying. I guess we're all doing that in the long term, but if we decide to do it as a culture, then what's the point?

Anyway, I don't have a solution. I'm just bummed when I think how f**ked we are.

"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord
None, of the above
Fuck it, cut the cord"

RATM

Not so much a blog entry

But a reminder to me that I need to buy this to replace the Tamron I broke. Fux0r.

Never Forget: A Weary Nation Has Moved On - Gawker

This is why I want to gas the stupid.

F**k yeah!

Yes, war is dumb and I hate it. However, the military industrial complex does occasionally come up with some really cool shit. Example, Thermobaric bombs. So nukes are bad? K, let's just make a freakin' giant conventional bombs. Now I don't care for the idea of dropping on on humans (which I will admit is what it's made for) but could you imagine this: Sitting with a bunch of your friends in the middle of the desert, spending a day consuming what ever floats your boat, having a great dinner by campfire light, and for the evenings entertainment? A giant f**king bomb detonating in the just barely safe distance.

Sounds pretty awesome to me. When I rule the world, the bomb makers get to keep their jobs, they just make kick ass fireworks.

Is it fair to savage Britney's figure? - No

Yes the performance sucked. Fine. And I HATE Britney and everything she stands for. But c'mon, fat? Hardly. Say what you want but that's still an attractive figure. Especially for a chick who's had some ups and downs (I know what depression can do to your weight) and a couple kids. I'd love to see one of the folks who was calling her fat go through the workouts she did to get herself back in shape.

So close.....

Why couldn't it have been Edie Brickell herself?

So it's on

Shannon and I are heading to Baker tomorrow, and then taking the long way back. Wish us luck.

'I am not gay,'

I just like the occasional restroom tryst with a random stranger. As any man, gay or straight, will tell you... rubbing your foot again the foot of the guy in the stall next to you in an airport restroom? TOTALLY gay. Actually, that's an insult to gay. It's like super creepy freeway rest stop trailer park gay. The luggage thing? Well where the hell else are you supposed to put the luggage? In your lap? But the hands under the divider? And especially the staring through the crack? Super creepy freeway rest stop trailer park gay. If this would have worked out for him, I'm sure the next step was splitting a dime bag of meth and a half rack of Milwaukee's Best with the man of his dreams before getting it on in a Denny's parking lot.

Reminds me of this guy. All we need is one from Oregon and we will hit the Pacific Northwest closeted "gay-hater" gay guy trifecta!

One more thing before I go to sleep

I am a pig. Today, I ate EVERYTHING! You know why there are starving kids in Africa? Because I ate their food!!! I was going to put some clever links in here, but I am too full and tired... and I just chundered on my keyboard. Anyway, loved seeing you tonight Charlotte and Nick... I hope your chin has a better period next time.

The most dangerous catch is in my pants bitches!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

JJ

Well...

When our hypocrite in chief stands before the God he claims to speak to, here's yet another subject I'd like to hear him stutter his way through. Actually, I would rather skip hearing that jackass slaughter the English language and skip right to the part where God says "Bwhahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! Oh that's rich!!!! Yeah but seriously, fuck you. Enjoy an eternity of cattle prod rape. Next."

I can think of one place they forgot....

Gigitty

In other news

Shannon will be going back to school.

I am now a vet

Dr. John posting as fishgirl. Yeah, fishgirl.

What could possibly go wrong?

Hey look a train wreck.

New pictures

We're back for a minute. Stopped off at home to drop stuff off and clean up. Tomorrow we take the bike up to the Puget Sound area. Anyway, here are some photos of our annual trip to Montana/North Dakota. More later. Enjoy

Moonshine Hangover

We went and saw these fellas again. They deliver.

Yet another fine upstanding republican!

In the interest of bipartisanship, we should hook Bill Clinton up with this guy.

How I spent today...

Yeah dude, I'm enjoying unemployment


Oh and did you catch that thunder storm tonight? AWESOME. Yeah, I was riding in it. I got completely soaked but it was nice after todays heat.

Anyway, my arms are sunburned, my bike is dirty, my jeans are wet, and I had a great day.

Oh and this....



and this... the most random thing I saw all day

My newest toy

I thought it might be fun to play in the dirt. Note.. this one's not mine but it's pretty much the same.

Damn!

It's freakin' hot.

Lessons in unemployment

Todays lesson? Microwave hot dogs are the best meal ever. Why? Because you cook them in a paper towel. When you're done cooking, you've already got your napkin right there. Just the perfect thing when you're spending your day watching Patton and Red Dawn.

Why has this "woman" not been force fed lead yet?

Seriously, this is the best example of what myself and several others on somethingawful call a"V.C.". Here's a hint... The V stands for vapid, and the C does not stand for Cong.

Lulz

Oh and and fuck you TW. That was bullshit and you know it.

So long

Wow. I don't think I've ever heard of anyone being treated as poorly by the company they worked for as I was here. I bled for this company, cried for this company, fought for this company, and loved this company (even after they lied to me) as well as the people who work there, but what they did and (to a much greater extent) the way they did it was just wrong.

I thank, sincerely and from the bottom of my heart, the people who stood by me and stood up for me. As for the rest? I firmly believe, based on observation, that justice is the natural state of life. Things work out as they should in the long run. Every time I've felt angry and hurt to the degree I am now, I remember one of the few good messages I picked up from my Christian upbringing. "Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord". I have yet to be disappointed. All I need to do is be patient and based on some of the decisions I saw shortly before the end, I doubt I'll need to wait long. When a company decides to prefer inaccurate (blatantly false) but "on message" information over data based in fact, there are problems. You can only "create truth" for so long. Shit floats. There's more I could say here, but who knows if a lawsuit would be next (that which I've said I can prove). I'm just confident things will end as they should.

Contrary to the way I was treated when we parted ways, I never had any bad intentions and I still don't, as it's not my place. More than anything, I'm glad I don't have to count myself among the liars. I had true friends there, and did good work. I can look myself in the face.

By the way, in case you didn't know this used to be true. It is not now.

Safe as in your Mama's arms

this

Oh Nick.... Why?

Best Tuesday EVER!!!

First, I kill Jerry Falwell with my blog. That's right, he was just unconscious when I prayed for his death... and then he died! FEAR MY POWER!!!

Then, I won a raffle today... A GOOD ONE! I spent 25 bucks for a good cause, and I won EVERYTHING. Limo, fancy hotel room, dinner at one of my favorite restaurants, 100 bucks at Nordstrom...

THEN, the ice cream truck pulled up to the corner of 39th and Hawthorne as I was sitting outside having a whiskey and I got a kick ass ice cream cone!

I am the KING of TUESDAY!!!!!!

Oh please....

Please, please, please, please be dead.

But I want one NOW

This looks cool

I don't have cancer!!!!

I am happy and relieved.

Here is a picture to express how I feel. Yes, I am breaking the image table and I dont care.

We knew we were going a little early...

but damn. We spent the whole weekend looking for morels. We found one. That's right, one. Adding insult to injury, Shannon found it.

Dammit.

Oh, and John Day can bite my ass. I leave Portland to get away from thug cops who have nothing better to do than harass those who commit the unforgivable crime of... nothing. That place and the surrounding area is over run with unnecessary and expensive storm troopers. All this while we get to hear daily about how the state police have no money, and while crime in places where it actually exists runs rampant.

What utter bullshit.

Meanwhile, in obviousville

Ya think?

Set sails for awesome

How to make the world a better place

Remove the word "effigies" from this headline.

Looks like the Indians are slackers. I did this after American Gigolo.

Ok I know this is in bad taste but...

I wonder why body counts like this aren't more common. You always read about how the shooter had two pistols, an AK47, 800 rounds of ammo, 4 grenades... and killed 4 people. I think some, if not most, of these nut jobs aren't fully committed to the cause and haven't heard this song. Apologies in advance for the incredibly stupid video clip. Anyway, I guess my point is go big or go home.

Durrrr

Maybe because most of it is male oriented pr0n? Ya' think?

Ghostrider - Part II

OK I wrote this: "Jesus Christ, motorcycles and fire!!!! WTF more do you want?!"

Then I saw it.

What more do I want? How about a fucking bearable movie? Christ that sucked.

Super Happy Fun!!!!!

My latest health related experiment? I have temporarily given up what is quite possibly the only thing that made me a bearable human being... drinking. The upside? I've lost about 5 pounds in the last week. The downside? I turn into an asshole at about 6 every day... and I don't feel nearly as good as I thought I would... and fake beer tastes like ass... and fine dining goes with wine god dammit not diet coke... and crosswords go with bourbon not water.

Joy.

I would LOVE to be a fly on the wall...

For this shit. Can you imagine anything more awkward?

Damn!

I want to kill Forest Whitaker. Seriously, if you haven't checked out The Shield, hop on a torrent, get up to speed, and join me for season 7. It's the shit.

Well I'm sure they'll listen now!

Bush to Iran: 'Give back the hostages' - Yahoo! News

Happy Fun!

Check out this business...

Have you heard this shit?!

DUDE! Call it prog, or stoner, or sludge, or whatever this is some good music.

LION SLICER!!!!!!!!!

Yet more evidence that....

The Oregonian is a shitty newspaper. Let's take a quick peek at their propensity for math:

"Half of the weapons once stored at the U.S. Army's Umatilla Chemical Depot near Hermiston have now been incinerated -- though the majority of the site's chemical agent remains intact."

So... 100% - 50% = something greater than or equal to 51%.

Sigh....

Ghostrider

Jesus Christ, motorcycles and fire!!!! WTF more do you want?!

Yawn...

Really, I have nothing to say tonight but I haven't updated in a while so...

I currently have way to much work to do, and I am having a hard time getting motivated to do it. I won't get into the details in case anyone from work actually reads this, but let's just say I'm having a hard time believing the way I've been told to approach this project is correct. Also, I've just sat through yet another annual session of smiling politely while other people are given credit for work I did. It's tough to want to keep doing it when you know how it will end up.

That being said, I know it's my job so I'll do it. I'm just wondering why.

I've been a little sick lately. Mostly it's manifested itself in extreme fatigue (2-3 days of sleeping like 18 hours a day), and some throat nastiness. The throat stuff is clearing up slowly, but I still feel really, really, really tired almost all the time. I get about 3-4 hours of good energy a day. That sucks.

Dispatch from the Midwest

Wow, the closer you get to the Midwest the more retarded you become :) From Shannon:

"Yesterday I spend the morning on my Treo: work, work, work… I stopped for a minute and went to use my stylus. Hmmm, can’t find it. looked through all my bags and coat pockets. No luck.

Oh well, on to the plane to Minneapolis. Fly to Minneapolis

Off the plane and across the terminal and to the bar… work some more. Where the hell did that stylus go?!?

Then grab a cup of hot chocolate and head to where I board the plane to Grand Forks.

Go to bathroom and happen to look in the mirror: Nice. I spent 10 hours with a stylus horn yesterday. Worst unicorn ever. Feel free to make fun of me."

Why can't you turn and face me?

Probably not a real great statement on my mental health, but man this song resonates with me.

BTW, the lyrics on this page are wrong. We'll catch you = look at you.

I'm making a 1:1 scale model of myself in snow..

One piece at a time. Here is the first stage:

W.... T.... F......

Wait.... Umm.... Ok..... Seriously, WTF?

One Question

Why can't we get this to happen to civilian "Hummers"?

YouTube - Spiders On Drugs

That is some funny shit right there.

Test from mobile

Windows Mobile User? You want this

VERY useful. Allowed me to edit the phones registry to fix a soft key assignment problem I had.

Ancient latrine fuels debate at Qumran

No way. "The excrement traces were found underground — meaning the feces had been buried, as required by Essene law — a nine-minute walk uphill from the settlement."

9 minutes uphill to "drop the kids off at the pool"?