Sorry for the lack of updates....

Well, it's not like anyone is hanging on my every word but I kind of feel like a blog is a commitment and I haven't been living up to mine.

Anyway, here's why. I don't have anything to say. Shocking, huh? I mean, I can at least usually come up with a dumb (or wildly inappropriate) joke, an offensive opinion, or a picture of cock flavored soup. But for now, I don't seem to be able to pull anything out of the old bean. However, I've been thinking about this and I think I have it figured out.

Ready?

My body is at least a month ahead of my mind right now. It just occurred to me, or more accurately I just remembered, that when my whole wacky ride started on December 3rd, I made a decision to surrender my head. My body was where the fight was, so that's where I would focus my energy. I distinctly remember saying to myself "I will simply go where I am told to go and do what I am told to do until this is over". I quit thinking because I couldn't think about what was going on and do what needed to be done at the same time. The few times I tried, I fell apart.

So now the body is getting to the end of its ordeal. Yeah, I'm skinny and I have a lot of weights to lift, cardio to do, food to eat, yadda, yadda.... I can do that stuff without thinking. That's just will. However, the mind is beginning its trip, and it promises to be interesting. I can afford to think now, and I find myself doing it. All the things that I shoved off to the side to "deal with later" have realized that later is now and are demanding a share of my attention equal to or greater than what the body got. This is proving to be a bit more difficult than I thought it would be. Well, that's a lie. I didn't think about it at all. Probably not the smartest way to address that sort of thing, but hey when you're basically just a dumb redneck from the sticks you do what you can. For most situations, that means throw a band-aid on it and walk it off. That's not working really well here.

So, I'm asking a bunch of questions and feeling a bit... Lost? Mortal? Guilty? Scared? I don't know. Maybe just "feeling a bit" was accurate enough. The first few leaks have shown in a dam that had to break sometime. I'm kind of stuck between frantically trying to patch it and simply moving out of the way to watch it go.

I'll figure it out, eventually. In the meantime, my body is still available and all things considered that's not too bad.