Damn I'm good

Yeah dude, I bought at 39. W00t!

Well, this sucks

To any of you that know my current dilemma, I could really use some help. I don't think I've felt this torn in a long, long time. It's kinda like you've been with this chick for a long time and you love her. You have done and would do anything for her. She may be a bit rough around the edges, but she's all you've ever wanted and she was very good to you. Then, without reason or a hint as to what's going on, she starts screwing around... and rubbing it in you face.

About the same time, a new chick or two shows up. They're vacant, sure, but they're hot as hell (way hotter than the old one) and they're whispering in your ear that they can treat you WAY better than the bitch you're with now.

You love the old chick, and you'd rather be with her, but if you have any shred of self respect you have to do something.

Argh. Help.

White House Sidesteps Cheney Questions

LOL... Rove, Delay, Cheney... This (well, and 2000 Americans dead for no reason) is what you get when you elect a dipshit who claims that god speaks to him and whose only qualification is a promise not to get a blow job in the white house. Go USA!!!!

I burn

Every time I think of getting tattoo'd I think of " I burn" on my back. If you've never heard this song, you should.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !

BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

See ya around, Agent 86

I still laugh at that damn shoe phone. Yeah, I'm old.

Welcome to the world, Antichrist!!!

It has begun.

New Orleans Air Found Not Overly Polluted - Yahoo! News

Thank God, because we were all worried about the air... Because we knew the water was nothing to worry about. Jesus fuck this whole thing is wrong by the numbers.

Sun Microsystems

OK. Everyone who knows me knows that the only OS I hate more than Windows.... Oh wait, I hate Windows more than any OS. Anyway, I loathe Solaris. It sucks slightly less than AIX. I also hate Dell, even though I'm writing this on a Dell machine and there's two more within 10 feet of where I sit. Oh, and my work machine is a Dell. At least my Linux box is a real computer (built by me).

That being said, this is some funny shit and I wish Sun would have run with them.

Why can't I sleep?!

Dammit this pisses me off. I am the worst sleeper ever. Usually, it's because the brain won't shut off due to some work stress or similar garbage.... But I had a good day! I got everything done at work I said I would, I made it to the gym, I got to ride the bike around... Today rocked. Yet, it's 1 am and I'm still wide awake.

I'm watching some Roman history thing in a window on my Windows box as I write this. You want to understand how the U.S. works? Look at Rome. You want to see the future? Look at Rome.

What else? We'll I'm VERY happy with the new bike (Honda VYX 1300R). I still miss the old bike though. You know what? I just freaking love motorcycles.

Anyway, photos at www.jjandss.com as always.

OK, back to my insomnia.

What's all this then?

John and Shannon have a new toy! Hooray!

Mystery Bulge in Oregon Still Growing

Oh no. This is gonna hurt. My state has a big zit... FULL OF LIQUID HOT MAGMA!

Kitten Huffing

OMG... Lenny is going up my nose.

I was just looking at this picture again

Linkty link

I am so in love with this woman. I am an angry, bitter man... But every moment I spend with Shannon makes me delriously happy and rue the fact the we're not eternal. If I could, I'd do nothing else but hang out with her. All day, every day, forvever. She's my best friend and I'm amazed and overjoyed that she wants to be my wife.

Words to live by

Those of you that know me now that I base of lot of the decisions I make on the criteria found in the art of war. I also know that a lot of you won't read it because it's not exactly a page turner. Well, let me boil it down for you. If you take nothing else away from the book, remember this:

If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.

If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat.

If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.

You want success? Willing to do the work it takes to get it? Then live these words and you'll win. It boils down to this.... Every mentor I've every had, even those I know now to be fatally flawed but still worthy of thought, has told me the same thing. Choose your battles.

Well....

Very tired, very disenchanted, very disappointed in those I thought I could count on. Oh, and I'm 36 now. Hurray.

Things I've learned today

1) I have an uncanny ability to judge character and aptitude.
2) My neighbor's blackberries make a KICK ASS desert.
3) Bourbon provides absolutely NO relief from the burn of Mazzetta habanero sauce... OH FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST MY TOUNGE IS ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maker's Mark, you have failed me for the last time! Oh what am I saying, you know I love you.
4) Hmmmm... Uhhhhh.... Well, F it that's it.
5) Oh wait I got it! I enjoy watching people being eaten by wolves.

OK, that's it. That's all that's all the knowledge I gained in the last 24. Hope it helps you.

Shannon got a new sparkely thing

Yep, it's one of THOSE rings :)

Why do they always send the poor?

Fuck you w. You're a lying sack of shit.

Donnie Darko

Why did it take me so long to see this movie? My new second favorite.

Buy this now... RIGHT now!!!!!

Turbonegro - Party Animals. It's not available in the US now, but if you look (that record store up the street from the Bagdad is a good place to start) you can find it.

Another FANTASTIC album from my #2 band.

Oh, and yes Hansa Rostock are heavy metal pussies!

4th Man Detained in Aruba Disappearance

4th Man Detained in Aruba Disappearance - Yahoo! News

Wouldn't it be quicker to just say "Ok, everyone who DIDN'T rape and kill her raise your hand"? It's Aruba! They've already arrested half the population!

Dave Devries's Monster Engine

Dave Devries's Monster Engine

Check out "Art". This guy takes drawings of monsters by kids and re-does them. Call me wierd, but I think that's hot.

Aljazeera.Net - US author explains 'suicide attacks'

Aljazeera.Net - US author explains 'suicide attacks'

Yeah I know Al Jazeera is the Fox of the Middle East, but numbers don't TEND to lie, and the article is worth a read.

Another advantage of living in the PNW

Tonight, I stepped on a big ass slug. Barefooted. That's hot. Welcome to the rainforest, toes. Feel the darkness.

The upside? I did it whilst grilling my midnight snack of a double hamburger. That's right Shannon, when I said I wanted a sweet delicious meaty treat I wasn't kidding. When I want to eat the flesh of my fellow animals, I want it. Goddamn it's good to be an ominvore.

What else? Well, I've been working on a personal project. It's called operation "approachable john". I've come terms with the fact that a lot of people are scared of me. Yeah, I'm a big, bald guy with a scowl on his face most of the time. I don't like that. I'd like to not freak people out, so I am trying to be more calm and to smile a little more. We'll see how it works.

OK. Tired and heading off to bed.

Random Garbage

A) I love Smallville, but I swear if someone doesn't kill Pete soon I'll be forced to. Chloe, you and your dipshit commentary and giant teeth are next.

B) A curse on pizza rolls. Thanks Shannon... Thanks a lot.

C) I've been sleeping and not working on the weekends lately. If you haven't tried it, I strongly recommend it. Shannon says I'm actually approachable now. W00t!

Medal of Honor Pacific Assault

Holy shit dude, where did all those Kates and Zeros come from?!?!!! In acknowledgement of A) How cool this game is and B) All you folks in my Grandparents generation who lived it I say.... Wow. Everyone who knows me knows I'm a little weird about my obession with WWII. This game is about as real as I suppose it's possible to get. I quit tonight stuck on the USS Arizona (and we all know how that wound up) firing blindly at anything with a meatball on it's wing after being burned in my fight to the flight deck. Nothing like having a dive bomber in your sights (and you in his) just as your .50 overheats and you're beating out the flames on your dress whites. I've spoken with more than a few WWII (and other war) vets in my time, and very few really want to talk about combat. I imagine this is why. What can you say? If a shitty simulator freaks me out this much, imagine what is was like to be a twenty-something kid living it. I despise war as much as any thinking person should (and I have a particular malice towards our latest fiasco. The definition of military failure is letting politicians plan strategy) but my salute goes out to those of you who did it because you had to. I've bought a round for WWII, Korean, Gulf War and Vietnam vets. If you're a soldier back from this bullshit, the first one's on me.

Dinner tonight

Wild Alaskan salmon and fresh wild morels. Why do I live in the Pacific Northwest? Well, here's one reason for starters. Wander out into the woods/sea, kill something, and eat it. Oh yeah. Oh and because Shannon is here.

To the Goddess of Knowledge

You have no idea how mad and hurt I am right now. You also have no idea how much I care about you. I miss you too.

Girls gone wild

Every time I see those ads, two words come to mind... "Hi Dad". Way to go there, slutette.

Best Saturday Ever

First, this is a note to remind me to blog my experience of nearly shooting a drunken/drugged dipshit Thursday night... while nude. Note to the tweakers of Portland... I'm heavily armed, fairly well trained, sleep only slightly more than you do, and I will absolutely pull the trigger. There is nothing in my house worth your life (assuming you value it. I do not.). As your friend found out, there are better places to be at midnight on a Thursday than my house.

Next, today we went up to a favorite mushroom spot to pre-hunt in anticipation of next week... We spend our anniversary (which we've decided is Memorial Day) every year hunting morel mushrooms. We killed. We got about 3/4 of an ice chest full, and we only hunted two spots that we knew have been productive every years and were easy and quick to walk (out of the 4-5 in the area we know are good). Spent 2-3 hours tops.

As is happens, there's a nice restaurant in town we go to 2-3 times I week. No, this is not the Night Light. To my bar stealing friends at work.... You should know I would NEVER tell you a place was my favorite until I had a new favorite :). We're good friends with the manager (I think... Chris what the hell is your job?) and the head chef (who Shannon knows from N. Dakota). We had told him if we did good we'd hook him up. We don't believe in selling them and we had more than we could use. We gave him half a cooler full (probably a couple hundred). He made a different dish with them every 20 minutes or so until we were full. Sauteed in white wine, garlic and onions, with asparagus in a goat cheese sauce, and a "Philadelphia" sandwich (open faced with red green peppers and cheese). We ate like there was no tomorrow. You should have seen his eyes light up when we brought the cooler in and opened it up. Not only did we get a TON of mushrooms, I had the head chef at my favorite restaurant cook them for us. All I had to do was drink a beer and wait. That is the ONLY way to hunt morels. I've been cooking them for well over a decade, and after my first bite of this fella's work I told Shannon "I got served!"

Anyway, thanks guys. You made us feel like the king and queen of Portland today.

Latest excuse for slow updates

I know you all hang on my every word. Really.... With content as fresh and exciting as this, who can blame you? Well, here's the scoop.

A) I have a job. Work is batshit right now. As much as I love you, and you know I do, you don't pay me. These folks do, and right now they're paying me to make a pile of shit look pretty, so that's my first priority

B) My wireless setup is all fucked up. My fault? Probably. Basically, if I don't update at work (like I have time... see above) I update at home from my couch. If that's not working as it should, which is the case now, then updates wait. I'll be upgrading the whole thing soon, so wait for more updates and excuses. BTW, if you know a school/church/whatever that needs wireless and a printer let me know. I'm looking to maximize the tax write off for my old shit, and I really don't care what you beleive or are trying to teach as long as the write off is legit.

Brandie, I'm still pissed at you but I'll get over it. Eventuallly.

Michael, my new lens showed up and I'll have new stuff for you to say "It sucks!!" to soon.

Josh, you are now known as "Buddy Christ"

New Domain Shite

OK, here's how it breaks down for now:

www.wheelwithinawheel.com gets you here
www.jjandss.com gets you to the pictures
www.hotamishgirls.com gets you to my main site, where there's nothing of interest to anyone

Coming soon...

I registered a domain tonight that I intend to turn in my "John's Photos" site. The stuff I like the best, as opposed the stuff from hotamishgirls.com or jjandss.com. Or maybe I'll just direct it here. Whatever. Stay tuned.

Oh, and Brandie is a cold quitter and Josh is now known as Jesus.

John is kinda sad

I said good-bye to a very good friend tonight. As those of you who know me well are already aware, I tend to bond more with hardware then humans. Nothing personal, but I find most folks either boring or disappointing. There are exceptions, of course, and you know who you are.

Anyway, my Canon digital rebel was a good friend of mine. It was my first real camera, and allowed me to get back in touch, to some degree, with the artistic part of myself I thought I had left behind years ago. We traveled together, and captured feelings and images to share with the rest of the world. To some degree, this machine helped me express to the rest of the world that I'm not just the problem solving machine I probably come across as. There's sights I see that touch me deeply, and if I can keep learning how to express those feelings with other people I might just move towards being less of an asshole.

We had some good times, but I moved on. I've got a better machine, but that doesn't mean I don't feel a little something when I let the old one go. The good news? It's going to a great home. Apparently, there's a kinda stripper ad/pr0n mag in town called sfx effects (supposed to look like sex effects when you're drunk). The guy who bought the camera is using it to shoot naked chicks. I can dig it.

Rock on, you little silver toy. I'll miss you. Snap some T&A for me.

Desperation.... It's what's for dinner

Groom Still Wants to Marry Runaway Bride - Yahoo! News

In other news, while his fiancee has been found, police are still trying to determine the whereabouts of his self respect. A police spokesman has stated that at the current time it appears likely it ran off with his testicles.

The terrorists have won... WITH FLAVOR!!!!!!

School Mistakes Huge Burrito for a Weapon - Yahoo! News

Because no one ever reads this

I'll go ahead and admit it here... I'm a terrible manager. I've spent the better part of a week fretting over the ONE performance review that I have to write. I finished it today. I tried my best, sweated, worried, stayed up late... And it sucks. I did what I could, I think it's C grade stuff at best. How the hell am I am supposed to rank another person?! I'm so fatally flawed myself the it amazes me every day when I show up to work and thet don't fire me on the spot.

You ever doubt your abilities when it comes to your job? It sucks.

Anyway.... what else have I got? Well, I'm watching the Lance Krall show as I write this. It's funnish. No robot chicken though. Skip it.

I just bought a Canon 20d. I'm in love. Look for more pictures in the photo section of hotamishgirls.com soon. Oh, and if you're interested in a Canon Digital Rebel I have a nice one for sale cheap.

My new beer of choice is Stella Artois. I have decided to give Pinot Noir another chance. I'm going to Huntington this weekend to sleep, take pictures, and hook my dad's new PC up.

One more thing. If you're a hardcore geek and you need work, let me know. Lazy? Don't run Linux at home? Don't bother.

Brandie, thanks for the BBQ.

Can we PLEASE gas the midwest?!

Yahoo! News - Kansas Board Taking Up Evolution Debate

For the love of the god you dipshits claim to fear and obey, can you PLEASE acknowledge the facts he's put in front you? Is there something about mainstream christianity that requires you to be stupid? If anyone can make a reasonable argument for creationism please let me know. Otherwise, I suggest we do the right thing for the sake of humanity (and christianity) and euthanize the midwest.

OMFG

Lamest LARPer's EVER!!!!

Stupid talented Justin

Justin's Gallery

If you get a chance, check out my friend Justin's work. Oh, and there's pictures of our trip to Frenchglen here

Two Words

Zombie Pope

"Revenge"

Best poison ever for those crappy, stinky little black ants that start showing up in Spring.

I can't find it in Portland anymore, so I ordered it from here. This stuff works, especially when used in conjunction with the stock pile of Diazinon I might have.

I can't believe it's March and I'm worrying about those bastards already. We really didn't have a winter in Portland this year. Check this out... Motorcycle trip to Crown Point, in FEBRUARY.

Shannon's B-Day is coming up. Buy presents!

As promised...

The best smelling urinal in Las Vegas. Can't remember where it was, as I was quite drunk, but it smelled like a god damn citrus orchard.

Ta Da!

Incident at Loc Ness

Fuck you Jeff Goldblum... And Zak Penn.

Go see it.

Hunter S. Thompson

I'm more saddened by this than I can say, but I'm glad it ended on his terms. Blaze me a trail through bat country, you brilliant, crazy son of a bitch. I'll see you when I get there.

Yahoo! News - Band Driver Dumped Waste on Boat Passengers -Charges

Yahoo! News - Band Driver Dumped Waste on Boat Passengers -Charges

I first heard about this on somethingawful.com. Best story ever!!!!!

By the way, I'll be blogging our trip to Vegas soon, WITH a picture of the worlds best smelling urinal! Stay tuned!

Topher Grace

Topher Grace

Nice name. Topher? WTF? Is that a retard translation of gopher? Dumbass

Dude, WTF?

Listen, all you hippie/Sting wannabe motherfuckers... When I go to the gym, I DO NOT need to see you prancing around in your god damn purple underwear displaying your taint and genitals in the name of yoga. There's an entire room devoted to dancing/stretching/whatever. Use it. When I'm trying to get my bench press on, the very last thing I need is a 50 year old anus thinly covered in "boy shorts" staring me in the eye. It's not that I'm uncomfortable with the male form, I'm just uncomfortable with yours. If you want to flash your junk, get a van and head for a grade school like any self respecting real pervert would do.

Fuck, I wish it was legal to smack these ass hats with a claw hammer.

Tired

My god I suck. I spent all the time off I had during the holidays remodeling my kitchen. Yep... plumbing, wiring, tiling, grouting, bleeding, bitching.

Joy.

I have become everything I dreaded.