Dude I'm gonna be rich!!!!

Hooray!

The one fun part of Vegas

Was renting this little toy for a day. We took it up to Hoover dam then up Lake Mead (where Shannon made a friend) to Overton, NV. Then we motored down to LV. Good times.

Do you feel safer?

Do you?

Eaglerider

Did it. Loved it. Recommend it. Photos soon.

All right god dammit!!!

Who the fuck is responsible for bring this shit back?

Oh I forgot this

Holy giant windmills, Batman!

My life, summed up

I hate the god damn goat

This might be me too, I dunno.

Iron Butt Training

OK, so we're not quite ready for the 1000 miles in one day that it takes to join the Iron Butt club... but we did some training this weekend. Shannon and I took off Saturday from Portland and rode I-84 to Baker. Yes, as an old school Eastern Oregonian, I call it Baker not Baker City. We stayed at our favorite hotel in Oregon, the Bridge Street Inn.

The next morning, after cleaning the crap some assholes dumped on my bike to help them forget how shitty their lives are, we took off towards Portland. However, rather than take the easy way back, we took the scenic route.

Baker, Sumpter, Bates, Wasco, Condon, Monument, Fossil, Long Creek.

HWY 7 to 26. HWY 26 to HWY 395. HWY 395 to 402, then to 19. HWY 19 to 206. 206 to 97, then back to I-84.

We figure we made the better part of 700 miles in 2 days.

We're getting there.

From the "Don't try this at home" department

Tonight, the VTX got it's first race. Given, it was against a Harley Road King but still... We were two up and he was solo. While I don't recommend doing 80-100 down Belmont, it is very, very, very fun. A little life affirming as well. Nothing makes you aware of your own mortality and, therefore enjoy what you have, than doing something life riskingly stupid. BTW, we did win. I had him on power (a bit) and on who will hit the brakes first (by a lot).

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.........


Does make me yearn for the 1800 a bit though.

Proof that not all Judy's are heartless bastards

My sister in law, folks.

Shrine of the Mall Ninja

OMFG, this is HILARIOUS!

Eating Paste

So Shannon and I have this game we like to play over IM. We call it easting paste. Basically, whenever anyone says "time to eat paste" you have to paste the contents of your clipboard into the IM session. We are SO COOL!!!!

toothpaste for dinner

That's funny

Astronomers say Pluto is not a planet

And no one gave a shit.

ROSETTA STONED

So they finally posted the lyrics... :) I love this song. I start almost ever day by listening to it as loud as I can.

Want some back story/front story/fun? Read this.



All righty then... picture this if you will...
10 to 2 am, X, yogi DMT, and a box of krispy kreme's in my "need to know" pose just outside of area 51, contemplating the whole chosen people thingy when just then a flaming stealth banana split the sky like one would hope but never really expect to see in a place like this. Cutting right angle donuts on a dime and stopping right at my birkinstocks, and me yelping "holy fuckin' shit!"

then the X file being, looking like some kinda blue green Jackie chan, with Isabella Rossellini lips, and breath that reeked of vanilla chig champa, did a slow mo matrix decent outta the butt end of the banana vessel, and hovered above my bug eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty elron hubbard upper lip and all I could think was, "I hope uncle martin here doesn't notice that I pissed my fuckin pants!!"

so light in his way, like an apparition, that he had me crying out...
"fuck me! It's gotta be the dead head chemistry. (the) blotter got right on top o' me. Got me seeing E mutha fuckin T!


and after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose. He said. "you are the chosen one. The one who will deliver the message. A message of hope for those who choose to hear it, and a warning for those who do not." Me! The chosen one. They chose me!!!! And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school!!

Then he looked right through me with somniferous almond eyes. Don't even know what that means. Must remember to write it down.
This is so real. Like the time Dave floated away. See, my heart is pounding. cuz this shit never happens to me.
Can't breathe right now.

It was so real. Like I woke up in wonderland. all sorta terrifying. I don't wanna be alone while I tell this story.
And can anyone tell me why y'all sound like peanuts parents?
Will I ever be coming down?
This is so real. Finally it's my lucky day See, my heart is racing cuz this shit never happens to me.
Can't breathe right now.


You believe me don't you? Please believe what I've just said. See, the dead ain't touring and this wasn't all in my head. see they took me by the hand and invited me right in. then they showed me something. I don't even know where to begin.

Strapped down to my bed, feet cold and eyes red.
I'm out of my head am I alive? Am I dead.
Can't remember what they said. God damn. Shit the bed.
Overwhelmed as one would be placed in my position...
Such a heavy burden now to be the one
Born to bear and bring to all the details of our ending.
to write it down for all the world to see.
But I forgot my pen. Shit the bed again. Typical.


Strapped down to my bed, feet cold and eyes red.
I'm out of my head am I alive? Am I dead.
Sun kissed and Sudafed Gyro scopes and infrared
won't help. I'm brain dead. Can't remember what they said.
God damn. Shit the bed.


Can't remember what they said to me.
Can't remember what they said to make me out to be the hero.
Can't remember what they said.
Bob help me.
Can't remember what they said.


We don't know and we won't know.
God damn shit the bed.

Russian refuses math's highest honor

Ok first, I don't blame him. I think math at that level is an art, and you don't need a bunch of media whores cheapening your work. Now, on to the good stuff....

This is a screenshot from my pc.

1) Look at the guy. He's a math freak who lives with his mom? SHOCKER!
2) Seperated at birth? Osama Bin Perelman? Grigori Bin Laden?

Wow

This is more of a reminder for me to follow up on this than anything else.... But if this turns out not be something like the last cold fusion garbage, how cool would that be?

Dude.... Seriously, WTF?!?!

Oh yeah, it happens all the time. If I had a dollar for every time I "accidentally" drugged, raped, beat, and strangled a little girl I'd be blogging this on a sweet laptop MADE OF SOLID GOLD in my kick ass moon mansion.

What's more, have you seen this human turd?! That my be the single creepiest looking dude I have ever seen!

I am strongly opposed to the death penality for this guy however. I think GP here will provide justice. Welcome to the savagemanrapeville! Population? You!

Our Portland Reception

Was fantastic. Thanks for everyone who made it out. Huge thanks to the folks at the Blue Monk, especially Chris and Beth. I snapped a picture or two, see if you can geuss who the star of the show was....

Oh My Who's This

Look at Shannon go!

British: Thwarted plot involved 10 jets

How about the next time they try to pull this kind of shit we park one of these here?

I'm as antiwar as any thinking person, but the only way to fight terror is with terror. I know I harp on this, but it's Rome all over again. I'd elaborate more, but I'm tired. If you want me to defend this point of view, let me know.

Some stuff

The other night, I had a discussion with a kid who was heavily invested in his role in the bus project. We spoke, drunkenly, about a lot of things that night, but one subject sticks in my mind.

One of his main motivations for his political involvement was his opinion that community, as a backbone of society, was dying. He made a passionate argument based on the fact that the institutions the he used to define community, like churches, clubs (Elks, Eagles, etc.) and the like, are declining.

At first blush, and on the Fox news level, this makes sense. If one were to use this as one's only criteria, you could say community is declining and we're moving to a state of individual isolation. However, in my opinion, this is an extremely short sighted view.

Community itself is a product of social evolution. If you want a little more detail, a great place to start is Jared Diamond's "Guns, Germs, and Steel". Community once meant getting along while 10-12 of us shared a cave. Now, it means something else. Community is evolving. Where once it meant we all sat together at a common table and argued, it may now mean that we all sit at our individual keyboards and argue.

Is this a bad thing? Eh, maybe... maybe not. Personally, I don't think so. However, my opinion doesn't matter. The fact of the matter is that social norms, like species, are born, have their day in the sun, and die. To attach true social survival to the continuity of a fabricated social structure is foolish.

I should and could expand on this line of thinking but I'm tired so I'll quit for now.

In other news.... Mike, who is to Portland service industry folks what Zeus is to the Greek gods, lost a bunch of weight and looks great. I command certain other member of the service industry (Stormy, I'm looking at you) to reward him with the sex. The Night Light has apparently slipped off the hip scale enough that I can now go back in and hang out with Mike. You should too.

Happy Birthday to me!

State Mottos

North Dakota - "Yes, everything here does bite.... No, not sarcastically, they actually bite. Seriously, you will bleed."
Idaho - "JESUS!!!! Hurr.................. Why do you hate America? Hurr.........."
Montana - "There is no escape from the Clark Fork. Ever."
South Dakota "Come for the crap, stay for the caves."

OMG Hiccups

Why wont they stop? Oh god let it end.

Oh that and there's and town in Florida that is actually passing a law to ban Satan. I love Florida so very, very, very much. Best state ever.

God damn hiccups.

Oh, and I love my wife. She just needs to get the "obey" part down.

The holy whatever

You know I believe our creator is genderless. When I meet it, I think my masculinity will be judged against will be that which is Chris Massey.

Quick Note

Apparently, Shannon and I were on the food network last night. In case anyone wonders, I think Ms. Ray has a case of snatchitis.

Upon returning to Portland, I have found my allergies were here, waiting for me. That and for some reason I cannot see to sleep enough. This was affecting me when me left and has got me a bit worried for my health. When you're known to suffer from insomnia and suddenly you find 12 hours a day to be inadequate sleep, it might be indicative of a problem. I'll hit the doctor soonish.

Work is as work was. Plenty to do and not enough time to do it.... Just the way I like it.

I miss Montana. My goal for when I'm 40 (if you don't know, you don't kow me well enough to ask :) seems too far away at this point. Every day I wonder if now isn't the time.

QOTD

"Saying mac osx has 'the power of unix' is like putting whippets in your glovebox then saying your car has 'the power of nitrous'"

We're back

Well, the fun is over. We had a wonderful trip, a great wedding, an abundance of the one thing we both love the most... time with each other alone.

Thanks to everyone who came out to help and share the day with us.

I would also like to thank:

The Montana Dept. Of Transportation and the people of Montana - For making great roads, having a speed limit that makes sense, having self serve gas, being VERY friendly, and just generally having a kick ass state. Special thanks to the folks in Sidney and Fairview. Oh, and BIG thanks to the Best Western in Miles City for having ONE hotel room left when I had driven WAY to far in one day

The Bridge Street Inn in Baker City Oregon - For being a GREAT bargain and a nice place to stay

Shannons Family (including Kim and Anya) - For being extremely gracious hosts, as always. You're all welcome out here any time.

Lipton Unsweetened Ice Tea - For keeping me refreshed

The Berry's - For a fun day on the river

Raymond - The dude we spent a few hours chatting with outside the hotel in Boman, ND. Hope life keeps treating you well.

Target - For making a great 5 dollar atlas


Pans for the trip?


Idaho. Yes, the whole state. There are beautiful spots, but the people are weird.

Yellowstone. Again, beautiful spots... but kind of a let down after glacier last year.

Montana HWY 200 - Just don't. Ever. There's just no god damn reason to be on that road ever.

More later, gotta go hack down the yard

The North Dakota Wedding Odyssey Part 7

Yellowstone was a bit anti-climatic, but we had fun anyway. Bear tooth pass RULES!!!

By the way, I rode my first hardtail last week. I was thinking about a Ducati Monster (dark) for my next bike, but I am seriously thinking about some old school Harley steel. It felt, really, really, good. Rob, your bike kicks ass.

Oh and Eastern Idaho, specifically Rexburg and St. Anthony, sucks dirty cow ass.

The North Dakota Wedding Odyssey Part 6

But wait there's more. Today finds us quitting early in Red Lodge, MT. Tomorrow... Yellowstone :)

And here are Brandie and Robert... My favorite cowboys ever!

The North Dakota Wedding Odyssey Part 5

Crazy Horse monument, "Crazy Horse Crystal Caves", Rushmore water park (100 degrees, we hit the water slides HARD), storms, antelope, etc. etc.

Nice. Tonight finds us in Boman, ND. Back to Fairview for festival tomorrow. Let the drunken barn dance begin!

New URL for the Blog

www.johnjudysblog.com

There you go.

The North Dakota Wedding Odyssey Part 4

The wedding. Enjoy

The North Dakota Wedding Odyssey Part 3

A little photo side trip on the way back from getting the license.

The North Dakota Wedding Odyssey Part 2

Here's some of today's ( July 1st) highlights (click the title). Long day

The North Dakota Wedding Odyssey Part 1

We left Friday at 2 or 3 and made it to Ritsville.  We've stopped here every time for the past three years because the hotels are cheap, there's always a room, and the local sports bar has good burgers and cold beer.  Last year, I took some really cool photos here (the train, the pepsi machine).  This year, I am just too f*ing exhausted to do anything.  We went to the bar, had a burger and a couple buds, watched a little North by Northwest and Shannon crashed.  I synced the wedding music playlists from my Zen to the PC (I have NO sympathy for those that don't back up thier data), now I'm blogging this and after a final glass of merlot I think I will hit the hay as well.

Tomorrow begins at 4 a.m.  I hope to cover most of Montana tomorrow, but I may slow myself down on purpose.  If I am not careful, we may hit Fairview on Sunday.  It's going to be chaos (parents + wedding = BOOM) so I might take a scenic route or two.  I will try to post pictures as we go, but contectivity is going to be hit and miss.  I hope to get DUN via my Samsung i730 while on the road but who knows?  If all else fails, I have a case of wine in the trunk and a few hours worth of MST3K's on the Zen.  I'm golden.

Join us, won't you?

Operation removes lightbulb from anus

Hot

Lenny

Lenny was hit by a car and died tonight

The original "design flaw in goldifsh" story

As told on E2 before it got so damn annoying....

So... I'm sitting around last night, fiddling with the computer and getting ready to go outside and ride in the tour de garage, when my phone rings. Now, normally this would not be a big deal, because (as those of you who know me know) I NEVER answer my phone. Something said I should answer this one though, so I did. It was my girlfriend. She was distraught. Apparently, there had been an aquarium cleaning "incident", which involved a high degree of grossness. Being male, it was incumbent upon me to deal with said grossness. I arrived to survey the damage.

At first blush, everything was normal. However upon closer inspection and with some emotional description, I learned that something was indeed horribly wrong. In the acrylic 55 gallon tank was a black goldfish, which had been entrusted to our care by a friend some years ago. The fish was swimming pretty much like it always does, and looked fairly normal, with one exception.

THE DAMN THING HAD NO EYES!!!!

The eyes, as it turns out, were in a bucket of old water, floating peacefully near the top. Apparently, here is what happened:

Water is changed in our aquaria by siphoning the old water out into buckets. The siphon consists of a cylinder roughly the size of a tennis ball can attached to a length of plastic hose. Occasionally, smaller fish (loaches, and others) will get sucked into the cylinder and through the hose. No biggie, they wind up in the bucket and are promptly returned to the tank. The goldfish, however, was slightly larger. It made it into the cylinder, but was too large to enter the hose. The suction was not strong enough to do any harm to the fish, with the exception of removing it's f**king eyes! After quickly removing the fish from the trap, my girlfriend had at first thought that everything was OK. Until she glanced into the drainage bucket, and saw the eyes. At this point, she called the cavalry (me). While the fish appeared to be capable of functioning fairly normally, I couldn't bring myself to force it to live blindly and with the distinct probability of painful infection setting in.

So, our friend the black goldfish was euthanized, and the eyes were dealt with as all spare fish eyes should be. Frozen in an ice cube to be served as a practical joke.

After much discussion, she and I agreed that while she should have perhaps been a bit more attentive whilst draining the water, the true fault lies with the designer of goldfish (insert your favorite deity here), who should have stuck the eyes in there a little better in the first place.

Drunken Rambling

So... First off, I spent way too much time on the Harely Davidson site tonight. Yeah, you heard me. I know I have been an advocate of Japanese bikes for a million years, but I am kicking around the idea of a Harely. Why? Well, slightly bigger displacement, nice styling, and.... well, I think there's something cool about keeping it real. There would not be meteric cruisers if there was never a Harley. I don't know if I will act on this, but I'm thinking about it. To be fair, I am looking at Indians as well.

Next, I don't know if I'm sick or what but I've been really grouchy lately. I know I have been suffering from allergies more than normal. I hope that's it.

What else? I've got to rebuild a server that took me weeks to get the way I wanted it in the next 4 days. Oh, and my iPod died. It's either the drive or the MB. Anyway, it would cost a couple hundred to fix... about the cost of a new device. I am now trying to decide between another iPod, a Zen, or a device by iAudio. If anyone has any advice I would LOVE to hear it.

Wedding is coming up soon. I just want it to be done at this point. The wedding is something you do for everyone else, and as you know I have a hard time with things that don't benefit me directly. Whatever, it will probably be funish. However, it has made me gay. I paid 90 bucks for the shirt I am going to get married in. I haven't paid that much for any item of clothing in a LONG time. I am SO not one of those guys. On any given day, this is my outfit:

Pants I bought used for 20 or so
Black T-Shirt I bought at Target or whatever for 5-10 bucks.... Unless I wear a band or winery T-Shirt I bought for 20
Cheap ass underwear and socks
A belt I bought at the St. Paul rodeo with "JJ" stamped on the back
A pair of Born's or Keen's (I like nice shoes)

If it's cold, I wear a Kangol and my Mary's Club jacket

Notice something? NO 90 dollar shirts, 150 jeans, or any of that shit Gavin (my clothes horse buddy from the UK) wears.

The extra shitty part? It's white. You know why I wear black? Because it absorbs beer, wine, motor oil, chain lub, and other stuff. This 90 dollar shit will be ruined the night I wear it. NEAT. Fux0r.

OK that's it. BTW, does anyone read this? Let me know.

Quote of the day

Overheard whilst sitting in my backyard this morning eating breakfast. I have some interesting neighbors....

Mom: "We're gonna fight if you don't clean up the house"
Child: "I'm gonna kill you if you don't shut up"

This is why I'm in favor of abortion up to around the 20th trimester.

Thank You, Tool

Read songs 3 and 4 (really part of a 3 song triology)

Once again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Just buy it

Buy 10,000 days already

Vicariously I
Live while the whole world dies



God damn, shit the bed

Iraqi President Says Killing Must Stop

"But attacks continued across Iraq."

Wouldn't it be funny if that really worked? "Well damn, Jalal, all you had to do was ask!"

Viva la Raza

1M Immigrants Skip Work for Demonstration - Yahoo! News

Don't know about you, but this works for me. Personally, I think we lost something when we stole Oregon. Maybe it's time we acknowledge what went down and see how we and our brown brothers and sisters can help each other out.

You notice how no body got killed or hurt? Hell, their protests are more responsible than those of "real" citizens. Wake up folks. These people are your neighbors. For the most part, these ARE AMERICANS. Let's quit pretending they aren't and find a policy that works.

The Daily Telegraph | Rape claim

The Daily Telegraph | Rape claim

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

America FUCK YEAH!

Dale Earnhardt Christmas Express Train - The Hamilton...

Sweet Zombie Jesus what have we become?

Under Appreciated Bands Part One

Toadies WebSite

I think maybe I will use my awesome blogging powers to let some of you bitches know about bands that have not been appreciated to the degree they should have. Musical brillance, partially by it's nature, doesn't always get the buzz it should.

I realize this is low hanging fruit in that regard, but check out the Toadies. Pure Texas attitude mixed with really solid musical craftsnmanship and the kind dark lyrics I can't resist. You may have missed their glory days, but it's worth another, closer look.

Do you wanna die?

Yet another couple damning thier children to hell

Melissa Etheridge Partner Expecting Twins - Yahoo! News

For fucks sake, it's obvious that gay folks can carry off the whole parenthood thing. Can't we move past this yet?

Homeland Deputy Arrested in Seduction Case - Yahoo! News

Homeland Deputy Arrested in Seduction Case - Yahoo! News

America.. FUCK YEAH!!! OMG this is so hot.

The Pulcifier

The Pulcifier

OMG, this is the best ever.

My space

After hearing about myspace everywhere for the last couple weeks, I thought I'd give it a try. Whatever. Who the fuck is Tom?

Michael Jackson may sing late Pope's prayers - Yahoo! News

Michael Jackson may sing late Pope's prayers - Yahoo! News

Ok do I really even need to comment on this?

US defense industry frets about high Iraq spending - Yahoo! News

US defense industry frets about high Iraq spending - Yahoo! News

Yet more evidence that our CNC doesn't get it. To all you folks in the midwest and/or Beaverton, I know you meant well, but consider the source of the message. The very people who stand to benefit the most from our war mongering policies are now doubting those same policies. Wake up.

Study Roman history for a bit, and then consider where we are now, who we are fighting, and what needs to be done. Then, peel that stupid yellow ribbon off your Hummer and start considering what it means to have have assumed the lastest incarnation of Rome.

Is it just me?

I was just listening to Velvet Revolver... It seems to me Slash has been playing the same damn guitar solo on every song since GNR.

What a great weekend

Shannon and I spent Fri - Sun touring Southern Oregon and the Oregon coast. What did we learn? Lobster tail is nonsked. Oh, and if you pop for a off season suite at the Yachats Inn you'll be pleasantly suprised, Coos Bay sucks, and finally the 2005 Chevy Impala LT is a piece of shit.

Whatever....

I haven't updated this in a while because the holidays make me depressed as a mother fucker. Thus, I don't do anything. That and I hate anyone who reads this.

Anyway, here's your quote of the day. Identify the band and win:

"Ever fall in love with a Chevy?
Ever fall in love with a Ford?
Ever felt the torque of a Hemi?
Ever seen the face of the lord?"

Oh, and it's almost tattoo time. Any suggestions? Let me know. I have ideas, but they suck.

Oh, and it's 2006. I'm fatter and older.

Fuck it.

Damn I'm good

Yeah dude, I bought at 39. W00t!

Well, this sucks

To any of you that know my current dilemma, I could really use some help. I don't think I've felt this torn in a long, long time. It's kinda like you've been with this chick for a long time and you love her. You have done and would do anything for her. She may be a bit rough around the edges, but she's all you've ever wanted and she was very good to you. Then, without reason or a hint as to what's going on, she starts screwing around... and rubbing it in you face.

About the same time, a new chick or two shows up. They're vacant, sure, but they're hot as hell (way hotter than the old one) and they're whispering in your ear that they can treat you WAY better than the bitch you're with now.

You love the old chick, and you'd rather be with her, but if you have any shred of self respect you have to do something.

Argh. Help.

White House Sidesteps Cheney Questions

LOL... Rove, Delay, Cheney... This (well, and 2000 Americans dead for no reason) is what you get when you elect a dipshit who claims that god speaks to him and whose only qualification is a promise not to get a blow job in the white house. Go USA!!!!

I burn

Every time I think of getting tattoo'd I think of " I burn" on my back. If you've never heard this song, you should.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !

BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

See ya around, Agent 86

I still laugh at that damn shoe phone. Yeah, I'm old.

Welcome to the world, Antichrist!!!

It has begun.

New Orleans Air Found Not Overly Polluted - Yahoo! News

Thank God, because we were all worried about the air... Because we knew the water was nothing to worry about. Jesus fuck this whole thing is wrong by the numbers.

Sun Microsystems

OK. Everyone who knows me knows that the only OS I hate more than Windows.... Oh wait, I hate Windows more than any OS. Anyway, I loathe Solaris. It sucks slightly less than AIX. I also hate Dell, even though I'm writing this on a Dell machine and there's two more within 10 feet of where I sit. Oh, and my work machine is a Dell. At least my Linux box is a real computer (built by me).

That being said, this is some funny shit and I wish Sun would have run with them.

Why can't I sleep?!

Dammit this pisses me off. I am the worst sleeper ever. Usually, it's because the brain won't shut off due to some work stress or similar garbage.... But I had a good day! I got everything done at work I said I would, I made it to the gym, I got to ride the bike around... Today rocked. Yet, it's 1 am and I'm still wide awake.

I'm watching some Roman history thing in a window on my Windows box as I write this. You want to understand how the U.S. works? Look at Rome. You want to see the future? Look at Rome.

What else? We'll I'm VERY happy with the new bike (Honda VYX 1300R). I still miss the old bike though. You know what? I just freaking love motorcycles.

Anyway, photos at www.jjandss.com as always.

OK, back to my insomnia.

What's all this then?

John and Shannon have a new toy! Hooray!

Mystery Bulge in Oregon Still Growing

Oh no. This is gonna hurt. My state has a big zit... FULL OF LIQUID HOT MAGMA!

Kitten Huffing

OMG... Lenny is going up my nose.

I was just looking at this picture again

Linkty link

I am so in love with this woman. I am an angry, bitter man... But every moment I spend with Shannon makes me delriously happy and rue the fact the we're not eternal. If I could, I'd do nothing else but hang out with her. All day, every day, forvever. She's my best friend and I'm amazed and overjoyed that she wants to be my wife.

Words to live by

Those of you that know me now that I base of lot of the decisions I make on the criteria found in the art of war. I also know that a lot of you won't read it because it's not exactly a page turner. Well, let me boil it down for you. If you take nothing else away from the book, remember this:

If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.

If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat.

If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.

You want success? Willing to do the work it takes to get it? Then live these words and you'll win. It boils down to this.... Every mentor I've every had, even those I know now to be fatally flawed but still worthy of thought, has told me the same thing. Choose your battles.

Well....

Very tired, very disenchanted, very disappointed in those I thought I could count on. Oh, and I'm 36 now. Hurray.

Things I've learned today

1) I have an uncanny ability to judge character and aptitude.
2) My neighbor's blackberries make a KICK ASS desert.
3) Bourbon provides absolutely NO relief from the burn of Mazzetta habanero sauce... OH FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST MY TOUNGE IS ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maker's Mark, you have failed me for the last time! Oh what am I saying, you know I love you.
4) Hmmmm... Uhhhhh.... Well, F it that's it.
5) Oh wait I got it! I enjoy watching people being eaten by wolves.

OK, that's it. That's all that's all the knowledge I gained in the last 24. Hope it helps you.

Shannon got a new sparkely thing

Yep, it's one of THOSE rings :)

Why do they always send the poor?

Fuck you w. You're a lying sack of shit.

Donnie Darko

Why did it take me so long to see this movie? My new second favorite.

Buy this now... RIGHT now!!!!!

Turbonegro - Party Animals. It's not available in the US now, but if you look (that record store up the street from the Bagdad is a good place to start) you can find it.

Another FANTASTIC album from my #2 band.

Oh, and yes Hansa Rostock are heavy metal pussies!

4th Man Detained in Aruba Disappearance

4th Man Detained in Aruba Disappearance - Yahoo! News

Wouldn't it be quicker to just say "Ok, everyone who DIDN'T rape and kill her raise your hand"? It's Aruba! They've already arrested half the population!

Dave Devries's Monster Engine

Dave Devries's Monster Engine

Check out "Art". This guy takes drawings of monsters by kids and re-does them. Call me wierd, but I think that's hot.

Aljazeera.Net - US author explains 'suicide attacks'

Aljazeera.Net - US author explains 'suicide attacks'

Yeah I know Al Jazeera is the Fox of the Middle East, but numbers don't TEND to lie, and the article is worth a read.

Another advantage of living in the PNW

Tonight, I stepped on a big ass slug. Barefooted. That's hot. Welcome to the rainforest, toes. Feel the darkness.

The upside? I did it whilst grilling my midnight snack of a double hamburger. That's right Shannon, when I said I wanted a sweet delicious meaty treat I wasn't kidding. When I want to eat the flesh of my fellow animals, I want it. Goddamn it's good to be an ominvore.

What else? Well, I've been working on a personal project. It's called operation "approachable john". I've come terms with the fact that a lot of people are scared of me. Yeah, I'm a big, bald guy with a scowl on his face most of the time. I don't like that. I'd like to not freak people out, so I am trying to be more calm and to smile a little more. We'll see how it works.

OK. Tired and heading off to bed.

Random Garbage

A) I love Smallville, but I swear if someone doesn't kill Pete soon I'll be forced to. Chloe, you and your dipshit commentary and giant teeth are next.

B) A curse on pizza rolls. Thanks Shannon... Thanks a lot.

C) I've been sleeping and not working on the weekends lately. If you haven't tried it, I strongly recommend it. Shannon says I'm actually approachable now. W00t!

Medal of Honor Pacific Assault

Holy shit dude, where did all those Kates and Zeros come from?!?!!! In acknowledgement of A) How cool this game is and B) All you folks in my Grandparents generation who lived it I say.... Wow. Everyone who knows me knows I'm a little weird about my obession with WWII. This game is about as real as I suppose it's possible to get. I quit tonight stuck on the USS Arizona (and we all know how that wound up) firing blindly at anything with a meatball on it's wing after being burned in my fight to the flight deck. Nothing like having a dive bomber in your sights (and you in his) just as your .50 overheats and you're beating out the flames on your dress whites. I've spoken with more than a few WWII (and other war) vets in my time, and very few really want to talk about combat. I imagine this is why. What can you say? If a shitty simulator freaks me out this much, imagine what is was like to be a twenty-something kid living it. I despise war as much as any thinking person should (and I have a particular malice towards our latest fiasco. The definition of military failure is letting politicians plan strategy) but my salute goes out to those of you who did it because you had to. I've bought a round for WWII, Korean, Gulf War and Vietnam vets. If you're a soldier back from this bullshit, the first one's on me.

Dinner tonight

Wild Alaskan salmon and fresh wild morels. Why do I live in the Pacific Northwest? Well, here's one reason for starters. Wander out into the woods/sea, kill something, and eat it. Oh yeah. Oh and because Shannon is here.

To the Goddess of Knowledge

You have no idea how mad and hurt I am right now. You also have no idea how much I care about you. I miss you too.

Girls gone wild

Every time I see those ads, two words come to mind... "Hi Dad". Way to go there, slutette.

Best Saturday Ever

First, this is a note to remind me to blog my experience of nearly shooting a drunken/drugged dipshit Thursday night... while nude. Note to the tweakers of Portland... I'm heavily armed, fairly well trained, sleep only slightly more than you do, and I will absolutely pull the trigger. There is nothing in my house worth your life (assuming you value it. I do not.). As your friend found out, there are better places to be at midnight on a Thursday than my house.

Next, today we went up to a favorite mushroom spot to pre-hunt in anticipation of next week... We spend our anniversary (which we've decided is Memorial Day) every year hunting morel mushrooms. We killed. We got about 3/4 of an ice chest full, and we only hunted two spots that we knew have been productive every years and were easy and quick to walk (out of the 4-5 in the area we know are good). Spent 2-3 hours tops.

As is happens, there's a nice restaurant in town we go to 2-3 times I week. No, this is not the Night Light. To my bar stealing friends at work.... You should know I would NEVER tell you a place was my favorite until I had a new favorite :). We're good friends with the manager (I think... Chris what the hell is your job?) and the head chef (who Shannon knows from N. Dakota). We had told him if we did good we'd hook him up. We don't believe in selling them and we had more than we could use. We gave him half a cooler full (probably a couple hundred). He made a different dish with them every 20 minutes or so until we were full. Sauteed in white wine, garlic and onions, with asparagus in a goat cheese sauce, and a "Philadelphia" sandwich (open faced with red green peppers and cheese). We ate like there was no tomorrow. You should have seen his eyes light up when we brought the cooler in and opened it up. Not only did we get a TON of mushrooms, I had the head chef at my favorite restaurant cook them for us. All I had to do was drink a beer and wait. That is the ONLY way to hunt morels. I've been cooking them for well over a decade, and after my first bite of this fella's work I told Shannon "I got served!"

Anyway, thanks guys. You made us feel like the king and queen of Portland today.

Latest excuse for slow updates

I know you all hang on my every word. Really.... With content as fresh and exciting as this, who can blame you? Well, here's the scoop.

A) I have a job. Work is batshit right now. As much as I love you, and you know I do, you don't pay me. These folks do, and right now they're paying me to make a pile of shit look pretty, so that's my first priority

B) My wireless setup is all fucked up. My fault? Probably. Basically, if I don't update at work (like I have time... see above) I update at home from my couch. If that's not working as it should, which is the case now, then updates wait. I'll be upgrading the whole thing soon, so wait for more updates and excuses. BTW, if you know a school/church/whatever that needs wireless and a printer let me know. I'm looking to maximize the tax write off for my old shit, and I really don't care what you beleive or are trying to teach as long as the write off is legit.

Brandie, I'm still pissed at you but I'll get over it. Eventuallly.

Michael, my new lens showed up and I'll have new stuff for you to say "It sucks!!" to soon.

Josh, you are now known as "Buddy Christ"

New Domain Shite

OK, here's how it breaks down for now:

www.wheelwithinawheel.com gets you here
www.jjandss.com gets you to the pictures
www.hotamishgirls.com gets you to my main site, where there's nothing of interest to anyone

Coming soon...

I registered a domain tonight that I intend to turn in my "John's Photos" site. The stuff I like the best, as opposed the stuff from hotamishgirls.com or jjandss.com. Or maybe I'll just direct it here. Whatever. Stay tuned.

Oh, and Brandie is a cold quitter and Josh is now known as Jesus.

John is kinda sad

I said good-bye to a very good friend tonight. As those of you who know me well are already aware, I tend to bond more with hardware then humans. Nothing personal, but I find most folks either boring or disappointing. There are exceptions, of course, and you know who you are.

Anyway, my Canon digital rebel was a good friend of mine. It was my first real camera, and allowed me to get back in touch, to some degree, with the artistic part of myself I thought I had left behind years ago. We traveled together, and captured feelings and images to share with the rest of the world. To some degree, this machine helped me express to the rest of the world that I'm not just the problem solving machine I probably come across as. There's sights I see that touch me deeply, and if I can keep learning how to express those feelings with other people I might just move towards being less of an asshole.

We had some good times, but I moved on. I've got a better machine, but that doesn't mean I don't feel a little something when I let the old one go. The good news? It's going to a great home. Apparently, there's a kinda stripper ad/pr0n mag in town called sfx effects (supposed to look like sex effects when you're drunk). The guy who bought the camera is using it to shoot naked chicks. I can dig it.

Rock on, you little silver toy. I'll miss you. Snap some T&A for me.

Desperation.... It's what's for dinner

Groom Still Wants to Marry Runaway Bride - Yahoo! News

In other news, while his fiancee has been found, police are still trying to determine the whereabouts of his self respect. A police spokesman has stated that at the current time it appears likely it ran off with his testicles.

The terrorists have won... WITH FLAVOR!!!!!!

School Mistakes Huge Burrito for a Weapon - Yahoo! News

Because no one ever reads this

I'll go ahead and admit it here... I'm a terrible manager. I've spent the better part of a week fretting over the ONE performance review that I have to write. I finished it today. I tried my best, sweated, worried, stayed up late... And it sucks. I did what I could, I think it's C grade stuff at best. How the hell am I am supposed to rank another person?! I'm so fatally flawed myself the it amazes me every day when I show up to work and thet don't fire me on the spot.

You ever doubt your abilities when it comes to your job? It sucks.

Anyway.... what else have I got? Well, I'm watching the Lance Krall show as I write this. It's funnish. No robot chicken though. Skip it.

I just bought a Canon 20d. I'm in love. Look for more pictures in the photo section of hotamishgirls.com soon. Oh, and if you're interested in a Canon Digital Rebel I have a nice one for sale cheap.

My new beer of choice is Stella Artois. I have decided to give Pinot Noir another chance. I'm going to Huntington this weekend to sleep, take pictures, and hook my dad's new PC up.

One more thing. If you're a hardcore geek and you need work, let me know. Lazy? Don't run Linux at home? Don't bother.

Brandie, thanks for the BBQ.

Can we PLEASE gas the midwest?!

Yahoo! News - Kansas Board Taking Up Evolution Debate

For the love of the god you dipshits claim to fear and obey, can you PLEASE acknowledge the facts he's put in front you? Is there something about mainstream christianity that requires you to be stupid? If anyone can make a reasonable argument for creationism please let me know. Otherwise, I suggest we do the right thing for the sake of humanity (and christianity) and euthanize the midwest.

OMFG

Lamest LARPer's EVER!!!!

Stupid talented Justin

Justin's Gallery

If you get a chance, check out my friend Justin's work. Oh, and there's pictures of our trip to Frenchglen here

Two Words

Zombie Pope