OK, one more before I go to bed

For Shannon and for all my friends who are in long term relationships... Seriously why does this product not exist?! Sleeping with a partner is awesome except for the fact that you have two arms. Design a better mattress, negate the vestigial arm, and suddenly man and woman or man and man or woman and woman or what ever the fuck floats your boat as long as we're all consenting adult humans can sleep in peace whilst sharing the body heat that is so precious in the era of $100 a barrel oil and I don't have a fireplace to burn the spare wood from my projects and my house isn't insulated very much because it's old and yeah baking bread heats up the house but christ how much bread do you need and even then your power bill goes up and you're still contributing to global warming and it's not like you hate the planet but your fucking lips are blue and you haven't felt your toes in days and you left your car keys on the kitchen table and you had to chip them off the next day to go to work and the cat started sleeping in the yard because the street light provides some warmth and TV sucks because you can't see shit through the fog that is your breath and you stink because the shower water turns into artificial snow before it hits your body which would be kinda cool except now all these 20 something mountain dew drinking losers want to shred your tube and make ads about it.

Sorry, this started out as a rave for a great comic. It ended with me just wanting to write a run-on sentence. I promise, I'm done. I'm going to bed, and tomorrow Shannon and I will go to the coast. I will not touch a keyboard.

I hope you all are doing something awesome over the holiday, and I hope it turns out 10 times better than you thought it would. Especially Brian and Ashley.... And maybe Brandie and Robert.