From my favorite thread of today....

I like my women like I like my coffee, COVERED IN BEES!

I like my women like I like my coffee, STRONG ENOUGH TO HOLD A SPOON IN!

I LIKE MY WOMEN LIKE I LIKE MY COFFEE, GROUND UP AND IN THE FREEZER

I like my women like I like my coffee, cheap

I like my women like I like my coffee, taken from her native land in the Himalayas and brought, packaged, to me for a small sum of money.


I like my women like I like my coffee, ON MY DESK WAITING FOR ME IN THE MORNING BITCH

I like my women like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke

I like my women like I like my coffee, ALL OVER MY LAP!


I like my women like I like my coffee, FUCKING HOT

I like my women like I like my coffee A DELIGHT TO THE SENSES, INFINITELY PLEASURABLE YET COMFORTING

I like my women like I like my coffee. In a plastic container filled with ice cubes.

I like my women like I like my coffee, Irish and mixed up with loads of alcohol!

I like my woman like I like my.... oh wait... I'm gay...

I like my women like I like my coffee, picked up at Tim Horton's on a lonely Sunday morning; consumed in the car; and tossed by the side of the road when done

Zzzzzzz.....

So I followed up seeing Turbonegro with a late night bouncing at this show. Music was OK.... But I will say the bands, especially Unearth, really knew how to give their fans a good show. I spent a good deal of the Unearth set HELPING FANS ON TO THE STAGE at the behest of the band. Now, the fans were a bunch of underage douchebags, but having been one once I can understand what a kick ass time those kids must have had. You'll never see me in line for a suicide silence record, but I do have to give it up to all those bands for giving the kids their money's worth.

Oh and that little chick up front with the pink hair was hot as hell. If I wouldn't have been tired, sweaty, and old enough to be her dad.... Well, I would have still made fun of her for being (in the words of the beastie boys) "educated? no. stupid? yup."

Just had dinner at Cava again...

If you live in FOPO, and you haven't eaten here yet, you're making a serious mistake. Great food, great wine, great staff. This is really the kind of spot our area was lacking in a big way. All the stuff you used to have to leave the neighborhood to get is now right in your back yard.

Thank you, Turbonegro

For yetanother awesome show. You love Portland, Portland loves you.

08 election

I'm afraid some of you are not taking my candidate seriously. Have you seen his position on circumstances?

Yay dumbass!

Oh here we go....

I'll bet Tipper Gore's spider sense in tingling over this one: "Police believe Coon, wearing a Marilyn Manson shirt, black jeans and black nail polish, targeted the two teachers he shot Wednesday. Coon's troubles seemed to come to a breaking point this week. Students said Monday's fight was over God — Coon told his classmates he didn't believe in God and instead worshipped rocker Marilyn Manson."

I hate my brain

Once again, I managed to sleep about 90 minutes and now I'm wide awake. Fought it for about 30 minutes before I came downstairs. So, now we get to play the waiting game. Sooner or later the body will pummel the mind into submission. Anyway, I found this. Crashing cars is OK I guess. :(.

Fux0r.

Hey Brandie

Get in the fukken cab already. And have fun cleaning that guys house.

Todays MMA Class

I am tired, and my knees hurt. The knees may be due to the grappling stuff we're doing, or the fact that I was trying out some of the stuff I learned on Ben... On the cement stairs and sidewalk in front of Hawthorne... After drinking.

So anyway, stayed up for most of today. Basically, stuff to do if someones hand is coming at you or if they grab your head. Fun, but DAMN this is a lot of work. However, I do have one more badass point.

Yet more from the "To serve and protect" file...

WTF is with our cops in Oregon?

Oh no! Stomach craps!

Yeah, this. Proof read, bitches!

Ron Paul

Guns don't kill people. RON PAUL kills People.
RON PAUL does not sleep. He waits.
The chief export of RON PAUL is Pain.
RON PAUL has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. RON PAUL 3. Cancer
RON PAUL drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
RON PAUL is my Homeboy.
RON PAUL doesn't go hunting.... RON PAUL GOES KILLING
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for RON PAUL.
RON PAUL doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures RON PAUL has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with RON PAUL.
RON PAUL is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
RON PAUL is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
RON PAUL counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind RON PAUL’ beard. There is only another fist.
When RON PAUL does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
RON PAUL is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
RON PAUL’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
RON PAUL can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
RON PAUL doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
RON PAUL gave Mona Lisa that smile.
RON PAUL can slam a revolving door.
RON PAUL does not get frostbite. RON PAUL bites frost

Stupid computers

I'm drunk, and I want to sleep. Why do you torture me? Do not want.

Anyway, today:

Wake up
Work out
Eat pizza, drink wine
Sleep/TV
Drink LOTS moar
Talk about shooting cops, hot chicks, and motorcycles
Wrestle Ben
Go home
Read some of Brandies book
Fail

Oral LOL

O RLY?

We ate foods here

You should too. Finally, a place where you can get a decent fancyish dinner in FOPO. Shannon and I recommend the mushroom appetizer and the chicken. Because they are good. PROTIP: Chef is from Pok Pok, so c'mon you KNOW the chicken will kick ass. It's like eating Pok Pok chicken in a decent place with good booze.

This

Why I love 4chan

How I feel this morning

To quote GWAR "Now the animal's in pain..... It's in pain, it's in pain, it's in pain.... TERRIBLE PAIN."

My new career

OK, so maybe it's not a new career but it's something fun to do while trying to figure out what I'm going to do next. I started lifting weights again using my old program. It's a LOT more brutal than the stuff I was doing while I was working. Basically it's about 90 minutes of weights and as much cardio as I can throw in (usually running those stupid stairs at Mt. Tabor 5 times) 4-5 days a week. But that's just the warm up. I've also decided to get back on the train I hopped off of years ago with martial arts. This time, however, I've decided to take up MMA. First class was today. Very fun, but very brutal. I'm sore and tired, but I learned a lot. Next class in Thursday.

So basically, I'm using my time to become a badass. What good will this do me? None, probably... but c'mon! It's fun and you can say you knew me before I was all badass cagefighter John.

In other news, I learned that push starting my KLR is not as hard as one would think. It is however, tough enough to count as cardio.