Random observation about candy

I just ate a cherry cordial. I was reading the little tag on it that said "cherry cordial" when it occurred to me that while the candy did have a cherry taste to it, it was not cordial. This candy was not particularly friendly. Sure, it wasn't rude or mean... but it didn't give me a heart felt "Hey John, how are you?", or a smile, or a pat on the back... nothing. Actually, I got the distinct impression that this candy really didn't care about me at all. It's not that I blame the candy for it's ambivalence. Quite the contrary, I think ambivalence is the best I could hope for from something I'm going to eat. I'm lucky I didn't get a "cherry malevolent"... But then why call it a "cordial"? Why not a "cherry ambivalent", or as the kids would say a "cherry meh"?

Stupid inaccurate candy names. Now that I think of it, this problem is HUGE! If you open a Three Musketeers, I'll bet there aren't three chocolate covered little french sword guys in there. Mars? Sure, nuts and sweet goodness, but no extraterrestrial ANYTHING. Jolly Ranchers are neither ranchers nor particularly jolly. WTF?!