Thursday, February 28, 2008
Sigh.....
Does anyone actually listen to this guy anymore? Seriously, he could come out tomorrow and say "We're going to be the first nation to put 100 jars of peanut butter in to orbit because JESUS GETS HUNGRY" and I'd be all like "Meh. Another Bush press release".
Friday, February 22, 2008
Cobain... Part II
Brandie, I hate to have to do this.... But you tried to paint GWAR fans (and I should know, I am one) with the same brush as KC fanboys. Yes, GWAR fans are dumb. All of us. Who else would sit around and giggle at full sized action figures singing songs like "F**king an animal", "Anti Anti-Christ", "The Obliteration Of Flab Quarv 7", and "Nitro Burning Funny Bong"? Who else would get excited at the rock and roll equivalent of a Gallagher show? However... we're not this dumb:
Part two of the "OMG KURT WAS SO AWSUM" guys conversation with me:
"wee will mett 2 hours frum now 0r u can call me at 254 342 2234 bitch kurn is awsum im goin to go dig up the corps of ur mommy now bitch!!"
Wow. And yes I did assume the identity of an under aged camwhore (complete with pictures stolen from Myspace), troll boards know for having a pedo population, and give his number out as a "really mature girl looking for older friends". I'm seeing something with Chris Hansen and an invitation to "have a seat" sometime in his future. I also posted it on a certain message board known for griefing people far beyond the point of humor.
What have we learned? 1) John REALLY needs to get back to work. 2) kurn is awsum 3) My mommies corps is probably being violated as we speak. Damn, that's sad. She loves the Marines SO MUCH. 4) Anyone who underestimates the lengths to which I will go for a laugh does so at their own peril.
In the immortal words of Ice Cube, I gotta say it was a good day.
John "cocked face fat watless pice of shitr, waiting to get his thout slit" Judy
Part two of the "OMG KURT WAS SO AWSUM" guys conversation with me:
"wee will mett 2 hours frum now 0r u can call me at 254 342 2234 bitch kurn is awsum im goin to go dig up the corps of ur mommy now bitch!!"
Wow. And yes I did assume the identity of an under aged camwhore (complete with pictures stolen from Myspace), troll boards know for having a pedo population, and give his number out as a "really mature girl looking for older friends". I'm seeing something with Chris Hansen and an invitation to "have a seat" sometime in his future. I also posted it on a certain message board known for griefing people far beyond the point of humor.
What have we learned? 1) John REALLY needs to get back to work. 2) kurn is awsum 3) My mommies corps is probably being violated as we speak. Damn, that's sad. She loves the Marines SO MUCH. 4) Anyone who underestimates the lengths to which I will go for a laugh does so at their own peril.
In the immortal words of Ice Cube, I gotta say it was a good day.
John "cocked face fat watless pice of shitr, waiting to get his thout slit" Judy
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Happy Birthday Mr. Cobain
In your honor, I spent the day starting flame wars on YouTube. It's amazing how literate some of his fans are:
"UR A FUKIN CUNT ASS BITCH MOTHER FUKER I WANT TO SEE U GET WASTED ON HERION THEN LET ME C UR LIFE GET FUKED DONT EVER MAKE THAT COMENT AGIN OR I WILL FIND U N SLIT UR MOTHERFUKIN THOUT U COCKED FACE FAT I NO WHO U R MY FRIEND CZ UR ASS ERRDAY SOO SHUT IT B4 I KILL IT NIRVANA 4 LIFE ASS WHOLE RIP FUK U U FUKING WASTLESS PICE OF SHITR GOO FUK UR DEAD MOM U COCK SUKER!!"
Kurt Cobain... an errday hero. NIRVANA 4 LIFE!
John Judy... A cocked face fat watless pice of shitr, waiting to get his thout slit.
Sorry Brandie, it had to be done.
"UR A FUKIN CUNT ASS BITCH MOTHER FUKER I WANT TO SEE U GET WASTED ON HERION THEN LET ME C UR LIFE GET FUKED DONT EVER MAKE THAT COMENT AGIN OR I WILL FIND U N SLIT UR MOTHERFUKIN THOUT U COCKED FACE FAT I NO WHO U R MY FRIEND CZ UR ASS ERRDAY SOO SHUT IT B4 I KILL IT NIRVANA 4 LIFE ASS WHOLE RIP FUK U U FUKING WASTLESS PICE OF SHITR GOO FUK UR DEAD MOM U COCK SUKER!!"
Kurt Cobain... an errday hero. NIRVANA 4 LIFE!
John Judy... A cocked face fat watless pice of shitr, waiting to get his thout slit.
Sorry Brandie, it had to be done.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Random thought
Just watched an "American Experience" special on Kit Carson, and it reminded me of a sad fact. It's all too often, and a great injustice, that great men end up being the fulcrum for levers used by lesser men. There's something to be said for doing your own heavy lifting.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Or was it... MURDER?!
As some of you may know, CSI has been my constant companion during my "preemptive retirement". This might help explain why.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Sad to say
But I can't believe this doesn't happen more. FYI, I was a bicycle commuter in Portland for years. For several of those years, the commute was between 15 and 20 miles daily. For a couple of years, it put me in the same spot were this guy was killed. One of the reasons I stopped was Trimet drivers. They're careless, clueless and dangerous. I've had several crowd the bike lane while I was in, passing me withing inches. I've also have them speed up to get in front of me, swerve into the bike lane, and nail the brakes (too many times to count). I could go on, but I won't. Everyone who rides in PDX knows what I'm talking about. I always said it was just a matter of time before one of these sanctioned road ragers killed a cyclist. Sometimes it sucks to be right.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Valentine's Day
Shannon and her new burlesque troop, Sugar Q, will be performing here. Check it out, for good times and fun!
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you....
My old boss:
OREGON CITY - The software engineer who killed himself Sunday at the Clackamas County Jail found the means inside his booking cell - a telephone with a foot-long cord.
Brian Truman Hebener, 51, was locked up alone when he hanged himself about 7:30 p.m. from the cord of a wall-mounted phone. Oregon City police arrested him earlier that evening after an altercation with a neighbor.
Phones are provided in nine of the jail's 10 booking cells for inmates to contact their lawyers, said sheriff's spokesman Sgt. Lee Eby. The handsets are designed with short cords to deter suicide attempts.
Eby said jail officials will review the phones as part of an internal investigation prompted by the suicide. "Maybe there's a better one out there," he said of the phone design. "We're reviewing it because we don't want this to happen again."
Between this and my link to this guy (I designed his print ads, renamed his business, and did a bunch of other marketing related work for him years ago), I think I might be cursed.
Oh and hey retarded cop? How about taking the phones out of the cells? How about supervised access to a communal phone? You know, "you been a bad boy so you don't get to use the grown up phone". I know cops aren't generally the brightest bulbs in the box but come on.. "Maybe there's a better one out there"? Dude, I've been drinking all night and it took me 7 seconds to come up with a better plan... And that plan was the best of three I thought of, ALL of which would work better than what you have now, and all of which took me 30 seconds to formulate. SRSLY, we give these morons guns and let them walk among us? WTF? I know children that could have figured this one out.
OREGON CITY - The software engineer who killed himself Sunday at the Clackamas County Jail found the means inside his booking cell - a telephone with a foot-long cord.
Brian Truman Hebener, 51, was locked up alone when he hanged himself about 7:30 p.m. from the cord of a wall-mounted phone. Oregon City police arrested him earlier that evening after an altercation with a neighbor.
Phones are provided in nine of the jail's 10 booking cells for inmates to contact their lawyers, said sheriff's spokesman Sgt. Lee Eby. The handsets are designed with short cords to deter suicide attempts.
Eby said jail officials will review the phones as part of an internal investigation prompted by the suicide. "Maybe there's a better one out there," he said of the phone design. "We're reviewing it because we don't want this to happen again."
Between this and my link to this guy (I designed his print ads, renamed his business, and did a bunch of other marketing related work for him years ago), I think I might be cursed.
Oh and hey retarded cop? How about taking the phones out of the cells? How about supervised access to a communal phone? You know, "you been a bad boy so you don't get to use the grown up phone". I know cops aren't generally the brightest bulbs in the box but come on.. "Maybe there's a better one out there"? Dude, I've been drinking all night and it took me 7 seconds to come up with a better plan... And that plan was the best of three I thought of, ALL of which would work better than what you have now, and all of which took me 30 seconds to formulate. SRSLY, we give these morons guns and let them walk among us? WTF? I know children that could have figured this one out.
Mac vs. PC... How it should go.
Mac: Hi, I'm a Mac!
PC: And I'm a PC!
Mac: Do you ever feel that anthropomorphizing computers in a cynical effort to sell them to rich, white fucks from the West smacks of hubris when they are often assembled in third world countries which their manufacture also pollutes?
PC: Sure. Also, I resent the entire artificial division generated by this tediously formulaic advert which drives a wedge between otherwise intelligent and helpful computer users, regardless of their platform of choice.
Mac: Maybe the real enemy here is consumer culture and capitalist sensibility.
PC: You're right. They're just leveraging primitive tribal affiliations in order to line their pockets with our money.
Mac: How about we fucking kill every advertising executive?
PC: You're on /b/rother.
TC: Hi. I'm Scientology.
Mac/PC: We're coming for you later, fucker.
PC: And I'm a PC!
Mac: Do you ever feel that anthropomorphizing computers in a cynical effort to sell them to rich, white fucks from the West smacks of hubris when they are often assembled in third world countries which their manufacture also pollutes?
PC: Sure. Also, I resent the entire artificial division generated by this tediously formulaic advert which drives a wedge between otherwise intelligent and helpful computer users, regardless of their platform of choice.
Mac: Maybe the real enemy here is consumer culture and capitalist sensibility.
PC: You're right. They're just leveraging primitive tribal affiliations in order to line their pockets with our money.
Mac: How about we fucking kill every advertising executive?
PC: You're on /b/rother.
TC: Hi. I'm Scientology.
Mac/PC: We're coming for you later, fucker.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
You know, some how it just works
Saturday, February 02, 2008
I have discovered
The next step in my evolution. Might need to upgrade the hardware a little, and swap out wine for soda, but the plan is rock solid.
Stupid words
I've always considered myself to be a guy with a pretty decent vocabulary. When I speak, people can easily grasp what I'm attempting to tell them, and I can throw in a 25 cent word here and there to look like a smart guy.
However, every now and then a word comes up and bite me. For years, I could not say "specifically". The word just would not leave my mouth without being first transmogrified (told you about those 25 cent words) into something like "specsdklfahgkl;jsdhgfdshg;lrsl". After attempting to say specifically I would spend the next 30 minutes attempting to free myself from my tongue, which had invariably wrapped itself around my head and lodged its tip in my nose.
Then there was album. Growing up, I heard "alblum"... so that's what I said. I was around 32 when someone (thanks Shannon) finally said "you know it's pronounced "album". I didn't believe and had to look it up. I still like my word better. The extra L makes the world roll off the tongue MUCH easier. Album has a choppy, staccato feel to it that just doesn't seem right. Way too Latin.
And today I was stabbed in the back by remuneration. Once again, for some reason I've always heard "renumeration" so that's what I said. So, when I thought I was asking for payment, I was actually asking to be counted again. Apparently, this error is more common than the album one, but it still makes me feel like one of those "wai u gotta b hatin' on me" types.
However, every now and then a word comes up and bite me. For years, I could not say "specifically". The word just would not leave my mouth without being first transmogrified (told you about those 25 cent words) into something like "specsdklfahgkl;jsdhgfdshg;lrsl". After attempting to say specifically I would spend the next 30 minutes attempting to free myself from my tongue, which had invariably wrapped itself around my head and lodged its tip in my nose.
Then there was album. Growing up, I heard "alblum"... so that's what I said. I was around 32 when someone (thanks Shannon) finally said "you know it's pronounced "album". I didn't believe and had to look it up. I still like my word better. The extra L makes the world roll off the tongue MUCH easier. Album has a choppy, staccato feel to it that just doesn't seem right. Way too Latin.
And today I was stabbed in the back by remuneration. Once again, for some reason I've always heard "renumeration" so that's what I said. So, when I thought I was asking for payment, I was actually asking to be counted again. Apparently, this error is more common than the album one, but it still makes me feel like one of those "wai u gotta b hatin' on me" types.
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