The amazing shrinking John.... The saga continues

Hit 225 today. My body fat percentage has gone from obese to firmly in the overweight region.

Back when I was racing bicycles, I tipped the scale at between 215 and 220. Soooooo close. My legs aren't as awesome as they were then, but my arms look better and really what do chicks dig more than two tickets to the gun show? NOTHING that's what!

I still haven't cashed my KFC check, but I will... I will.

The bad thing? I need new pants. Seriously, even my skinny jeans are too big now. Put this on top of the fact that I broke my KLR (again) and this will be an expensive month for John. I guess I can don my new vest and make a little cash.

I am a little pissed to find out I could have just been popping these things instead of doing daily doubles 5 days a week.

Our weekend

July has been made of awesome. We capped it off with another trip to Pendleton. I would tell you about it, but Shannon did a much better job so this is a PERFECT opportunity for me to plug her blog.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you strippylongstocking.com. Dive into all the awesomeness that is Shannon.

A hero's story

Apparently, I'm not the only one who sees the clear and present danger presented by bees and their ilk. Though I don't have a white leather clad Arab to assist me in my battle, battle on I will.

Hallelujah! He speaks English!

Apparently, I'm not the only one who's a little tired of the Obama as second coming business. Yes, it's nice to have someone who can string a sentence together speaking for America for a change... But c'mon you know it's mostly just the same old shit in another package.

I almost feel sorry for zombie McCain. I've always liked and respected the guy, and in a different world (Bush free) I may have even voted for him (I tend to vote for people and issues, not parties). However I don't think he's got a snowballs chance in hell and he really comes off bad in comparison.

Anyway, thanks to the British for their advanced sense of satire and thanks to my Aunt Carol for pointing this out.

It's all in the context I guess....

For some reason this headline struck me as odd. Is she scared that she'll be forced to rape an entire city?

"Whew! Am I glad! I have finally left "city". Now I can be happy."
"Uh, we're going to have to ask you to return to "city". Actually, we insist."
"What? Why? Did I forget something."
"Um, no. We need you to rape "city". All of it. The whole place."
"Crap."

Understandable. That's a lot of rape. Or is there a place called Rape City that she doesn't want to return to? Again, understandable. Imagine going to Rape City....

"Hey Dad, where are we going on vacation this year? Disneyland? Yellowstone?"
"No, Billy. We're going to Rape City!!!!"
"Boo. I hate you Dad"
"I know Billy... I know."

On motorcycling

For those of you that don't know, I love motorcycles. I got my first dirt bike around 10 and my first street bike at 17. I've owned many, many bikes and I've loved every one for different reasons.

As one of the cornucopia of lucky breaks I've had in my life, I managed to stumble across a woman who may not love the machines as much as I do (or perhaps does, but not in the same way), but shares my love of operating them.

As I was contemplating these two things this weekend, it occurred to me that I had actually found what millions and millions of people search their whole lives for.

When I am on the motorcycle with Shannon, exploring a unknown road, on a perfect day, I firmly believe I am experiencing true happiness in the most absolutely literal sense of the words. I really couldn't ask for more. I want nothing else. I am complete.

While I was riding, I remember fervently and repeatedly hoping that if there is a "heaven", it's a place where I get to ride new roads with Shannon, seeing new sights, meeting new people.... forever. The time I spend doing it seems to pass so quickly, and no matter how long we spend traveling this way I never want to stop. I believe given the time I could ride every road on the Earth, stop at every interesting small town bar, stay in every funky hotel, swap stories with every gas station attendant, and when I was done my only wish would be to ship the bike to the next planet and do it all over again.

I intend to write an essay on why motorcycles are capable of bringing this sort of satori about, but not yet. There's too much to say. I'll make a feeble attempt at some point, but for now I'll say that those of you who do it know what I'm talking about... which is why you do it. Suffice to say, something magical happens when you trade the destination for the journey. It kinda looks like this:



OK.. OK... Lest any of you think I'm not the moron you've come to know and tolerate, my version of heaven includes killing bugs... Don't wanna get too existential :)

OMG a shark!!!!!

Worse than bees? No.

229! The amazing shrinking John part II.

I have officially earned my KFC reward. Yes it's gross but god help me I love it so. However, instead of claiming my reward, I intend to truck my ass back out to Hamley's this weekend and have a steak... and some bourbon... and perhaps another dip in the pool. I'll spare you the photo this time.

4th of July

We had a great time. LOTS of motorcycle miles, met cool people, found a great restaurant, etc. etc. However, I did take a break from my recent excursion into sobriety. John + Bourbon + Swimming pool =



Also, that is a steak distended belly. Seriously, not that fat. No really. Thanks, Hamley's.

Also the water was cold. Just sayin'. Thanks Andy, you dick.

10 Things You Can Like About $4 Gas

I think this article brings about some interesting points, though I fear that many of them are wishful thinking rather than fact. I do however think they missed my personal favorite.... Schadenfreude. Personally, I get a big kick out of watching the morons driving hummers and escalades suffering. The way I see it, we're moving very, very slowly towards a world where stupidity is painful and I couldn't be happier.

Do you believe me now?

Well you should! This time they took control of a truck in their never ending quest for STINGING!!! Seriously, they're getting smarter and meaner BY THE DAY! WAKE UP PEOPLE!

Every thorn has its rose...

Being murdered - Thorn

In Festus (LOL) - Rose